Registered: August 14, 2003
Posts: 1845
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I thought this one was pretty good:
Drown
I feel awake now.
Giving everything I've got.
I've got my hands,
My life,
My soul to keep.
I was on a swing with my brother, racing to fly.
I was laughing and laughing.
The swings don't go that high!
Up and down we did swing.
The rusty chains limited my dream, my wish to go up higher.
To the clouds,
To the atmosphere,
Let me scream and leave my troubles here.
Then swim in the sky and drown in it's glory.
I'll taste the sweet frosting, the clouds of the day.
Then bask in it's presence and take the sunbeams by the hand.
'Till the night I shall play.
In the dark I will lay awake.
Watching the earth.
Filling my innocence with joy.
It's a risk I'm willing to take.
Untill I'm on that swing again.
Life is a long lesson in humility. -James M. Barrie; "Are you terrorizing babies again...!?" -Some lady I heard
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Registered: August 14, 2003
Posts: 1845
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Thanks for the positive feedback guys. 
Life is a long lesson in humility. -James M. Barrie; "Are you terrorizing babies again...!?" -Some lady I heard
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Registered: June 09, 2003
Posts: 5084
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Nice freeverse, envy. I like the second to last stanza.
None of us can ever be free while others are still in chains. -Leslie Feinberg
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Registered: December 11, 2004
Posts: 35
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Loving the swing representation. Reaching for a goal...or a feeling created by that "Swinging" I think this is first class. Keep writing. ~Katz
~In my experience people who feel as if they aren't special have more to contribute. Feelings of frustration and doubt and the will to overcome these feelings make you stronger than you could possibility believe~
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Registered: February 18, 2004
Posts: 3177
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wow, i really like the imagry behind this. Yeah it is really good.
Hope for the best and expect the worst............take whatever life throws at you...
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