1. I dont want to waste your time but your the one i want. I might not be your beauty queen or anything between. I want you and only you. I dream about the day when you finally notice im here. When you finally see my dark, sad eyes staring at you through the crowd. I'll be your beautiful disaster.
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2. You make my nightmare reality,
My dreams are just an illusion,
You make my life a living hell,
Heaven no longer awaits me.

Please tell me what you think. They are for a contest im entering in.. I would really appreciate it!!

Hahaha. Yay Special K. Man I love his posts like that...it's too bad I only see one about every three months now.

You won't win. Don't even bother trying.

[QUOTE]Originally posted by forevertears14:
1. I dont want to waste your time but your the one i want. I might not be your beauty queen or anything between. I want you and only you. I dream about the day when you finally notice im here. When you finally see my dark, sad eyes staring at you through the crowd. I'll be your beautiful disaster.
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QUOTE]
If you must make it rhyme at least put the stanza together better then that.
Such as,
I dont want to waste your time
but your the one i want.
I might not be your beauty queen
or anything between.
I want you and only you.
I dream about the day when
you finally notice i'm here.
When you finally see my dark, sad eyes staring at you through the crowd.
I'll be your beautiful disaster.

Constuctive critism. Play around with the stanza format of the first.Just make sure it keeps a good beat as the words slip off the lips of the reader.

Those are both really awesome, especially the last one. The imagary is really deep, which is the most important thing. In poetry, one must see that which does not exist, and you've successfully managed to do that. I love them.

They sound like every other poem I've ever read.

they sound pretty good to me, but im not a big poetry person, so im not much help sorry.