So lets see, I'm halfway through my climate change research paper and I'm jittery from too much coffee and bored from reading science journal articles for the last 5 hours. What to do?

Ah! Lets pontificate on the various newbie stereotypes that we've noticed pop up over the years....

The "Bush/Clinton is a terrible fascist/commie pinko president. Boy I wish that other guy would have won" zealot:
This newbie come onto the boards full of witty one liners such as "Bush sucks" or "John Kerry would have cured cancer" or "I want to have Ronald Reagan's babies". They're all the same though, they'll come on and spout some rhetoric that you just heard as the latest soundbyte on the news, and usually support it with some half-baked evidence. Haven't seen too too many of these lately, but they're still around

The Jesus Freak:
A classic. The hardcore bible thumper who comes to town and actually thinks they can convert homosexuals, atheists, and evolutionists with there constant ranting about how "The Bible say reason X". When presented with facts to the contrary, there are inevitably two responses: Either the poster shuts up and goes away, or repeatedly banters on about how "I know I'm right, and you'll know someday too. You'll see!", referring of course to Judgement day. This is of course ridiculous because they've got just as much chance that they'll be standing before God explaining all the ridiculous irrationality and/or thinly vieled fear they've spread.

I'm Here, I'm Queer, Get Used To It! ...or... Lets reverse all homosexual stereotypes and post them because I think I'm witty:
The young kid who may or may not be gay, but is fervently into the rhetoric that some gay interest groups spew out. They frequently come on the boards and post yet-another topic about gay rights or how they're so proud of they're sexuality. Guess what. We're all comfortable with it too, we've got many gay members, we all know. Sit down for a while and calm yourself.

Teh IM tYp3r:
I would make some stupid little paragraph about them, but I have no idea what they say, and I feel a joke made out of ignorance is in poor taste. If any of you are translators, or possibly reformed Teh IM tYp3rs, please contact me so I can truely understand this elusive animal.

The Abortion Zealot:
Is pissed off about abortion, on one side or the other. Sometimes they want to save life before conception, sometimes they advocate government sponsered research into blenders specifically designed to puree babies into a delicious and healthy smoothie. This newbie is extremely important to YN, because we all know neverending abortion topics are what keeps these boards afloat.

The Militant Vegan:
Assaults us with all kinds of info that's pulled directly from the PETA website or one of it's subsidaries. Generally hates people. These are usually short lived, and a sometimes a subgroup from one of the other wacky newbie groups. Comes in Liberal and Vegitarian Christian flavors.

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Ok, There are definitely more, but it's 11 pm and I need to get back to work. Lets see if you guys can come up with some others.

And if anyone is offended, stuff it. I don't hate newbies, I'm just making some social commentary. If you dissagree with me you're a fascist/heathen/communist/homophobe/liberal/right-wing/newbie.

quote:

now I feel nerdier and more e-special

just wait till you get up to YV and My post counts,

the nerdy... it's just to powerful...

I'm working on it, need more inspiration

weeee 700 posts! now I feel nerdier and more e-special

Can someone come up with a new one? I like this thread...

My first posts where absolutely horrible, it was during the period of my life when I was doing a lot of drugs and only thinking about partying... If anyone wants a good laugh check them out.
I also had a YN-Nemesis, me and redrepublican would consistently bash each other for being idiots

quote:

Ahh, so Amp was the one everyone wanted to beat with a bat.

well only one guy and I bumped heads on a regular basis, he was called "communistsmurf" or "comradesmurf" and we dueled verbally to the point where we wore out keyboards

quote:

In response to my first post, amp replied starting with "I mock you for your ignorance". I had never been mocked for my ignorance before.

I remember that but I can't find it, and I'm about 20 posts deeping your back log

quote:

...You never forget your first time

I must be a YN whore. I don't remember cashing in my YN-V card.

I'm pretty sure I was an abortion zealot...but no one remembers me from my newbie days, so it's all good.

quote:

You had a little bit of Jesus Freak in ya, YV.

You know, I think you're right. Although I don't recall telling people they'd go to hell, try to convert homosexuals or get upset at people who didn't believe in God...hmm...I just hope I wasn't the closed minded type.

What was I?

And yesterday, I was going back through my old posts looking for my first post on JPAAH, It took me 27 pages of searching to realize that the posts wouldn't be there because the thread had been deleted. It made me sad.

*having a cheese moment*
In response to my first post, amp replied starting with "I mock you for your ignorance". I had never been mocked for my ignorance before.
...You never forget your first time.

Sorry YV. I was on hiatus when you were new. I can't tell you :'(

EDIT: You had a little bit of Jesus Freak in ya, YV.

I think I know what I was, but I'm not telling any of you.

quote:

YV you're probably the oldest and most active NM'er around here, most of us would have no way of knowing. If anything from what I've seen you where probably one of the nicer if not nicest noobs around

Aww, thank you Speed. Although, there are older active members here than me. Like Ikki and Glove.

quote:

I don't.

It's okay, Cap. We still love you.

quote:

Ahh, so Amp was the one everyone wanted to beat with a bat

I beat my brother with a pinata stick one time...

Anyways. What kind of newbie was I?!

quote:

We all do, Speed. We all do

I don't.

quote:

The Newb who will not die!:
This newb just won't leave, no matter how badly slammed they keep going.

I think I may have a bit of that to, persistance is an underrated virtue
I have to say I'm sorry about some of the nasty things I've said, I try to keep calm now with a few notable exceptions.

YV you're probably the oldest and most active NM'er around here, most of us would have no way of knowing. If anything from what I've seen you where probably one of the nicer if not nicest noobs around

Can anyone that was here when I was a newbie tell me what type of newbie I was?

Oh goodness, I don't even want to think of what type of newb I was.

Ahh, so Amp was the one everyone wanted to beat with a bat.

I know what type of newbie I was:

The Newb who will not die!:
This newb just won't leave, no matter how badly slammed they keep going. Unlike other newbs however this newb will learn from his/her mistakes and come to accept other points of view. This usually results in the newb gaining the if grudging respect and acceptance of the vets

We all do, Speed. We all do.