quote:

My Favorite Line: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?

Amp, that is like the cheesiest pickup line ever.

My Favorite Line: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?

Ultimate Tag Team(requires wingman/bar full of back up): go up to a hot chick and start singing (with aid of mike if possible) You've lost that loving feeling...and so forth no woman in the world can resist the Top Gun pickup

Have I seen you before? Oh, yeah, I remember - it was in the dictionary under the word FANBLEEDINGTASTIC!

Screw me if I'm wrong, but I could swear you were Julia Roberts.

If you think Chewbacca is hairy, wait till you see my Wookie.

Is your name Summer? 'Cause you are as hot as hell.

I was randomly looking back through anchient threads and this one made me smile.

So...

BUMP!

LMAO, I <3 DANE COOK.

My favorite sketch:

"Here's another way to be remembered. Again, this one is more personal, its more for you because no one is ever going to know that it was you, but you'll know, and that's all that matters. Next time you're at a party, a great big party, go in the room where all the coats are... sh*t on the coats.

Guarenteed, at some point someone is going to walk out of that room and say, "Someone sh*t on the coats. Someone has sh*t on the coats."

That's the only thing you can say when someone sh*ts on the coats, "Somene sh*t on the coats."

They might say, "I think someone sh*t on the coats." But you know, you just don't want to be the bearer of bad news. "I think someone may have sh*t, on or around the coat area. There's a smell of sh*t, around the perimeter, the vacinity of coats. Leading me to believe someone has sh*t."

But again, you're there, you're there watching it all happen. And its your job, all you have to do is lean in at some point and go, "What?" And then blend back into the crowd. "What? I hope it wasn't on my coat." And then, boom, you're a phantom, disappear, disappear."

I have all his CDs and DVDs, such an amazing stand-up comedian.

My favorite Dane Cook sketch is:

"There is a guy at your work. Here is your description. He's not fat, he just shapes. He's like an amoeba, he's always a different ****ing consistency. And he has that thing in the front, that huge...what IS that? You want to see it, but you don't.

Nobody talks to that guy. NOBODY. He wears those weird blue-blocker sunglasses, so you don't see his ****ing weird eyes. He's got the pocket with the whole festival of pens in there. In case he has to write a LOT.

Nobody talks to that guy. If he comes into that break room and you see him out of your peripheral vision, you go "let's get the **** out of here. Where's the door? I've worked here 8 years, where's the door?!"

Nobody talks to that guy. But you know what? I talk to that guy. I talk to that guy every ****ing day. I find him to talk to him. I buy him little treats. "Here's a Snickers, take that. Enjoy, satisfies, take the Snickers. Bye bye."

You know why I talk to that guy? Because when that day finally comes where he ****ing snaps. And he comes into the office with an AK-47. And he goes walking through the halls *various machine gun sounds* and he gets to my office he's going to be like "...thanks for the candy...

...YOU'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!"

Yeah, you're going to talk to that guy now."

Dane Cook is the man. His "Comedy Central Presents.." is hilarious. "I'd go back in time to when my parents were doin' it to make me. I'd run in and slap my father right on the ***. 'I'M YOUR SON! I'M YOUR SON FROM THE FUTURE!'" He runs around, then makes the motion to slap his dad on the *** again. "I'M FROM THE FUTURE! HAHAHAHA.'"

Anyway, interesting question, ICE. Lol, but I think most women would rather be wooed or entertained a little rather than deceived by some pick-up line.

Dane Cook could pretty much say anything to me and I'd give him the time of day. If he did that part where he wants snake venom, and screams, "WHY NOT MEEEE?"

quote:

Originally posted by Jenos:
Dane Cook rocks.

Just got Retaliation. Best line on the entire cd: "If I had any superpower...I'd shoot lasers out of my c*ck."

You look like a kiwi.

I'd like to hear: you, me, handcuffs, and whipcream?

Dane Cook rocks.

Another cheesy one: "Are you a calculator? Because I would love to push your buttons."

quote:

"Will you be walking to your car alone tonight?"

That's sweet.

Dane Cook had a good one.

When you're at a party, watch a girl from a distance for a really long time, just enough so that she notices. Then, when shes about to leave, walk up to her and ask, "Will you be walking to your car alone tonight?"

"I'd like to stick my willy wonka in your chocolate factory"

quote:

If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?

Genius, clpo. Simply genius.

A pick-up line that would work on me would: "If you were a booger, I would pick you"; just because that takes balls.

A pick-up line I would like to hear is: "I like your pants. But not on you. Take them off."

I think that's just hilarious.

Oh, I have to mention this. At WVU, I had a friend who grew out his hair to about an inch in length. He then sprayed NAIR for men on a washcloth and rubbed it all over his head, so the result was that large patches of hair came out while some remained intact. So he would go out drinking and use the pick-up line: "I only have three months left to live. No seriously, I'm going through chemotherapy."

It worked every single time.

Hooray Euterpe for Family Guy references!

Some pick-up lines that never fail:

"I want to eat your face. Make out with me."
"I have sixty pounds of roast beef in the back seat. Get in the car."
"I know we've never met or spoken before, but I think we should do it."
"Yeah but our average age is over 18..."


New question: what pick-up line would work on you/would you most like to hear?

Is that a mirror in your pocket? 'Cause I can see myself in your pants.

Hey. <--Note, this works if you have a sexy voice. Believe me.

Did you know that there are 265 bones inside of your body? (Wait for answer) "Yeah, and I could show you how to get one more."

Excuse me, I'm looking for a friend...do you want to be my friend? (Hehe, I like this one)

Hi. You'll do.

If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?

There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.

What's a nice girl like you doing talking to a loser like me?

And finally the grand finale of cheesiness:

I have only three months to live...

some my poor friends have received:

-hey there's party in my pants, wanna come?

-you me, handcuffs, and whipcream?

-hey baby can I rock ya?

-Can I lead you into temptation? (she of course said "No, I can find it myself!")

Those pants are becoming on you. If I were on you, I would becoming too.