I though maybe this would be a good way to get out some buried feelings. I can't really afford therapy & I can't go directly to my adoptive parents to work through these issues because they refuse to speak to me. I was physically & emotionally abused, mainly by my adoptive mother (my aunt) for 10 years of my child hood. I have a hard time coping with reality from day to day a times. I spent most of my late teens & early 20's in a self destructive mode. I've been on the upswing for almost 4 years now, drug free & making good decisions to better my life. I want everyone to know her name: Ellen Marie Casey-Bergman. Casey was her maiden name. She grew up in MI & moved down to North Carolina with her husband & my adoptive father (my uncle).
I read a book called, "A Child Called It" last night, by Dave Pelzer. It was both disturbing & inspiring. It awoken a lot of deep feelings inside my soul that have been repressed since the last time I tried therapy to deal with the emotions I had because of the abuse. I had to stop half way through the thereapy because it got too painful & I was having a hard time functioning in my daily life & being productive at work, etc...
Sometimes, I feel overwhelmed with sadness & emptiness. I struggle with my self-esteem & not making poor, self destructive decisions. It's really hard to reverse the damage done to me after 10 years of being abused as a child. My abuse wasn't as intense as Dave, the author of the book. I could relate to the mentality of the mother though, because of the mentality of my adoptive mother (my aunt). I think I've gotten to a point where I've blocked a lot out. Do I need to remember? Is it healthy to just "forget"? Is anyone else out there feeling my pain or going through a similar situation?
I really want to get involved & help abused children. Does anyone have suggestions on what group, project or organization? I hope joining this site will connect me with a few people that can empathize with me & offer some sound advise. I also hope that I can help encourage someone else that may be struggling with similar issues.
MMB

try http://www.teenhopeline.com they will help you out either on the phone or through a chat.