have you ever been deeply saddened? depressed? angry? happy? ashamed? ect.? well share your story here. and please refrain from using swear words and racial/homophobic remarks.

Angelarose, you've been warned. Please refrain from posting multiple replies with the same content.

Angela: Welcome to YN! When you are posting, please keep the Rules of Play in mind. Specifically, please refrain from posting the same content, as it is considered "spam" and will be deleted.

Happy posting! :]

Honestly I think their are just some people who are not good at being depressed and I think I might be one of them. I've been sad and upset before but never depressed. I like bring happy and I think that comes from having true joy. So this is my story. I grew up in church and no just becuase I said that don't think I'm going to start preaching. But anyways all my life I was the good little girl who did no wrong. After growing up into a teen I realized I didn't like where my life was going. I tried being rebellious and that didn't work. I tried being the girl who guys wanted and girls wanted to be. Nothing fit me. Finally I realized I needed to just be myself and the only way I could do that was by finding my identity i God. Through him I got the best thing ever. True joy. A joy that when evething in my life is going wrong; I can still be happy because I know God saved me and He is the reason I love. Sure I have had some times where everything is hopeless and it seems like everyone hates me. But I always have to remember who gave me what I needed. It was God and he gave me something to smile about.

about 3yrs ago during the summer, i was diagnosed w/ a rare blood disease. i went through chemo to get rid of it, & lost all my hair :P i wore a hairpiece all through the following school year. it was really hard w/ ppl asking so many questions, but they eventually accepted me. my year was going great, it was until the last dance of the school year. i was nominated princess of my class and won :] my night was going great. i went over to my friends house w/ a lot of other girls from my class to sleep over. the next morning we all wanted to jump in the pool, and i thought my hairpiece would last..unfortunately not. it fell off in the pool in front of all the girls. i didnt realize at first until i put my head outta the water and saw a few of them giggling. i was mortified [just writing this gives me anxiety]i ran outta the pool and into the bathroom with tears streaming down my face. i was crying so hard i could barely breath. a few girls came into the bathroom to comfort me [im about to cry now lol] it meant a lot then to know they were there..i dont keep in touch w/ any of them now. my point is that ive tried to forget it and tried to forgive the girls who laughed at my pain, but i cant..idk it still gets me..idk how to fully recover from that. i know im a stronger person now but i cant forget that day and those heartless girls..i want this website, these ppl, to understand pain, encourage eachother and to just be there for one another and thats why i joined it. hopefully itll help me out w/ my past experiences and more in the present
:]

In around September or October I became depressed, and I stayed depressed for a few months. I tried cutting, I thought about suicide (although I probably wasn't very serious about it) and I just felt awful. My 'friends' were mean to me, they picked on me and made me feel horrible about myself. I began to eat less and less, because it made me feel like I had control and by then I just felt so hopeless, I decided that maybe if I were thinner I'd be happier. I was eating under 1000 calories a day, always going on pro-ana websites and it just made me feel even worse. Eventually my parents found out, and now I'm much better. I kind of am glad that I went through that, though. I can now understand people who are depressed or have an eating disorder much, much better. And now I'm trying to change the modeling industry, because they are part of the reason I tried starving myself.

So yeah... I still feel ashamed and embarassed of the things I did before, but in a way I think it was worth that. I see the world a whole lot differently now.

my dog was abused before i got him. he's better now, but im sad for him, angry at the people who abused him.men did so now he doesn't like men.[COLOR:RED][/COLOR]

I am so sorry you were sexually abused. If the abuser is dead now that doesn't mean you have to keep your secret a secret. You can always talk to someone like a therapist or counseler. Don't feel ashamed if you're having trouble coping. Just don't try to do it alone.

quote:

Originally posted by silentscreams:
Hi. I see that not that many people have posted lately, but I thought I'd post and see what happens. Well, I'm about to be 16 and I've been feeling so depressed since I was 13. It feels so horrible, especially lately because everything seems to be changing. My best friend and I are growing apart. I hope this doesn't sound stupid, I know some people have it so much worse, but I just feel so sad all the time. My mother and I used to get in these really bad physical and emotional fights. Sometimes I can't stop thinking about things she said. I've tried so many things to escape, suicide, cutting, throwing up my food, everything. I'm a Christian, but it's so hard to know Jesus is with me, but I know He is, I just I don't know. I also tried medication, that didn't work though, it just messed me up lol. Therapy did the same. Everything seems to just not work for me. I hope this isn't annoying, I don't want it to seem selfish or just too many complaints. I hope someone understands what I'm saying... if so, please post. thank you for reading

this caught my eye so i felt like responding.
probably because i can relate.
and i dont think it sounds stupid.
i also don't think that other people "having it worse" makes it any easier, or simpler, to deal with your own problems.
i used to get into really bad fights with my mom too. and it wouldn't help that i fought with my (then)boyfriend as well.
ive been raised Christian, but after i went through similiar things, i stopped believing in God. it just made it hard to believe in anymore, no?
i dont know. i just wanted to let you know that i understand what you're saying.
and i hope you're feeling better.

well for one thing i will not be making any racial or homophobic remarks or swearing but anyway when i was 12 i was diagnosed with a liver disease called autoimmune hepatitus that meant that my immune system was attacking my liver. I was lucky not to need a transplant then a few months later my red blood cells went down and my platelets and white cells followed my doc thought it was a medication i was on so he took me off it. my results got better then a few weeks later he put me back on it and they fell again and when he took me off them again my results kept falling after moths of transfusions and tests they finally came to the conclusion that i would need a transplant after another few months i had a german donor give me bonemarrow during my nine weeks stay in hospital i had a couple doses of chemo and i spent three of those weeks in isolation and wasnt allowed out then i got a thing called gvhd which is graft versus host disease that meant that my body was fighting the new bonemarrow a bit of gvhd is a good sign so i was ok but the severe stomach pains stoped me from eating so i had a feeding tube i had this for two weeks and it was taken out my meds have slowly reduced and the new bonemarrow is working and i have realised how much i took things for granted even being able to go outside being so close to dying when i was 12 also made me grow up alot i am now 14 and have still got quite a few hospital visits left. the reason i am telling this story is so that maybe you will realise how blessed you are just ot have relatioship problems when you could have alot worse even i am blessed to have what i have.

Well, I can tell you one thing. Marching band HURTS!! I play cymbals in percussion. I really like everyone in percussion. I don't like the guy that calls me seniorita. It kinda makes me think that he doesn't remember my name. Anyways, it was really hard to adjust b/c I'm the only girl in percussion. They told me that they thought that I would suck. I'm actually not that bad. I play cymbals b/c I play oboe in concert. If you know your instruments, you'd know that you can't play oboe in marching band. It was either cymbals or marching piano(keyboards with straps). My point is that I proved myself and earned respect. It felt good to be accepted. It really did!

It's hard to take someone seriously with a name like "Chunkyblueberry."

You Liar!! I know this girl she goes to my school and shes lying. the guy she claims to have done that shit to her is just someone shes madly in love with.

Basically all you do is type obnoxious provoking things and you'll have fun.

im not really sure how to get started im new in here could you help me?

yea ive been through something like this and its still hurting me. im not ready though to explain otherwise i would

Hi. Juz want to say that everybody has probs and it is up to us to lean on each other through troubled times. I've got my share of probs too but it now seems trivial compared to u guys...

Hey.... thanks for responding. sometime i'll give you an email and explain stuff... sorry about that brett guy... i hope you'll start feeling emotionally better.

what kind of things have you been thinking about? ive had my share of problems and i can tell you and everyone else, its not easy. the guy "brett" is starting shit with me at school and its ruining my life. i just want life to end but then again i know hes not worth my emotions. thank you for sharing your story. feel free to e mail me at straightedge9992003@yahoo.com thanks

Hi. I see that not that many people have posted lately, but I thought I'd post and see what happens. Well, I'm about to be 16 and I've been feeling so depressed since I was 13. It feels so horrible, especially lately because everything seems to be changing. My best friend and I are growing apart. I hope this doesn't sound stupid, I know some people have it so much worse, but I just feel so sad all the time. My mother and I used to get in these really bad physical and emotional fights. Sometimes I can't stop thinking about things she said. I've tried so many things to escape, suicide, cutting, throwing up my food, everything. I'm a Christian, but it's so hard to know Jesus is with me, but I know He is, I just I don't know. I also tried medication, that didn't work though, it just messed me up lol. Therapy did the same. Everything seems to just not work for me. I hope this isn't annoying, I don't want it to seem selfish or just too many complaints. I hope someone understands what I'm saying... if so, please post. thank you for reading