I don't know. A year ago, I started this job, and everything was normal for a few months. Then, we got a transfer co-worker in from another store.

This guy is funny, intelligent, has the perfect balance of sincere compassion and brutal honesty, can carry a conversation with anyone about anything, and shares my strange fondness for "fire and brimstone" (no other way to say it)

And after working with him for 8 months, I have fallen totally and completely in love with him.

Herein lies the problem.

He's 16 years older than me.

Seriously, I tried so hard to convince myself that it was just one of those crushes you get on a guy that has potential compatibility. I try not to imagine what it would be like to be with him, but I just can't help it.

And when my best friend came into the store to visit me (while the guy happened to be on the same shift), and after I got off of work, she said that my eyes were twinkling.

And now, whenever he's near me, or just says hi, I start either lightly (I try not to make it obvious) blushing or just steal stolen glances at him.

And I will say this, it's not lust, I know it. Because I'm not going to lie, this guy is not physically attractive. And yet, I can't help but be in love with him.

So here's the question. Is it unethical for me to like him this much? I mean, I'm only 18. Or is it not love/crush and am I just confused?

Please help.

Have you talked to him about it?

See, my friends do know about this infatuation/love I have. And as for my family, my parents are also 16 years apart, but they are very old fashioned. They would not approve not only because of the age, but because he is not of our ethnicity or culture.

And he is not married nor is he dating.

And, hypothetically, if we did date, and then broke up, I'm not really worried about the tension in between us at work.

I just am still confused as to whether it is at all possible, or should I wipe this fantasy from my mind?

Hypothetical situation here:

Say he likes you back and the two of you date. Then you break up. How would you feel about working with him?

That's a VERY important question that you need to know before you even CONSIDER a relationship. I know in High School, when I broke up with a guy, it was awkward when I had classes or went to get-togethers where the guy was there. If you would feel awkward about breaking up and working together, then don't date a co-worker.

That being said: Is he married? Do your family and friends know about this infatuation/love and do they approve or do they disapprove greatly? You are from two generations: would that be a problem later on?

Those are just some questions you need to ask yourself and think about before deciding whether or not the crush is worth keeping/pursuing.

Alot of girls are attracted to older men. As long as your eighteen i really dont see the problem. If you would marry him though you will have to prepare for him being 70 when you are 54. my parents had almost 10 years between them.