Okay. The bac story: I, Girlgrey, have had a really shitty (or as my drama teacher would say, sheepy or fleecy) romance life. I was homeschooled through the delicate age of middleschool at my mama's wishes. (as far as mama goes, I don't hate her, I love her, I just wouldn't have made the choices she has.)
As a result, I came into freshman year fresher then all the other fresh bits of fresh who make up the class of twenty-ten. Sheepy, no? First semester was spent safely inside my little
shell, with crushes from a distance and utter insignificance and pointlessness. So went life.
But then, suddenly, I was attracted to someone I'd actually met, and he liked me too! He was a senior, I was a freshman, no matter. But I grew a pair and asked him to the lady's choice dance. As is predictable for a 14 year old just coming into herself, I fell in love, and my world began to change.
I became more confident, came to understand I am not too bad to look at, came to love my 5'8"ness, and magically transformed into a confident, fun (I don't mean to honk my own horn, but HONK) and pretty cool person. Not cool in the average sense but in the I know what I'm about sense.
I also focused on choir and now am the only sophomore girl in select jazz choir. Pretty nice. But, alas, alack, tolo comes and goes, I reamined unkissed. And he remained uninterested in anything more then sex. And before too long, he's dating someone else. He still flirts with me and wants to cheat on his loverly girlfriend with me. Heartbreak sucks especially when he just won't let you STAY IN YOUR DAMN CORNER. Well, I got over him after 3 long painful pining months. It was awful, but sheep happens.
Along came Josh! I had known him for awhile, he seems like a nice guy. Again, senior. I ask him out (see, fem-cahones) and we go out for about a month. Trouble is, I'm not allowed to date seniors AND the school year is over. So it was a secret and summer relationship combined, and did NOT work out.
He told me we never really had a connection, and that was it. So basically, every time he said he wanted to see me and couldn't stop thinking about me, he LIED. He was actually thinking about his ex, whom he is now pursuing with full force.
And now! The dilemma: after sheepy upon sheepy guy situation (there have been several more, they just didn't last long enough to be deemed important) I have fallen, again, for a good guy this time. No, it's not love, I've only ever been in love once, with the fleeciest peice of sheep I have ever known. No, this is just a serious crush. For now.
I know this guy through a six-week acting intensive that I am currently doing. It's 5 days a week, 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. daily. It's actually hella fun. I like this guy (he's smart, funny, and has the most amazing smile I have ever seen) and I think he likes me too, though he's a slight recluse so it's hard to tell.
But the problem lies in the fact that he lives a long way away and you are not allowed to date fellow camp thespians. And I would just screw the rules and ask him out but I am SO TIRED of making the first move because every time I have, it fails. Miserably. "Women are made to be wooed and were not meant to woo." It's Shakespeare. So that's it. A long story for a small problem, in the scale of things, but I'm too preoccupied with his gorgeous smile for my muscles of common sense to function. Okay, any advice on this owuld be much appreciated and if you've gotten this far, brava! you have a mervelous attention span and can read a sappy teenager's novella on her oh-so-tragic life.
girlgrey- Living in the grey space between what is black and what is white.
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