I had a friend -lets call her "anna"- who got married at 40 years old to a man she had known just few months before. 2 years after, her husband died. Last year, when anna back to her hometown (which is my hometown too) - a small town in a underdeveloped province in Indonesia where neighbours still know each other- i got news from other friend -let call her "Brenda"- that Anna had been infected by AIDS. I couldn't believe it, she was such a good woman, she was still virgin when got married. Her whole life was spent at work, trying to earn some money for her poor family . She got married just because in our culture it is uncommon for a woman for not getting married.
Brenda told me that she heard the news directly from Anna's sister. It was supposed that Anna got infected by her husband. And what i can not believe is Anna's sister herself suggest Brenda not to let Anna temporary lived with her. Oh gosh.
AIDS is still a very big issue in our society. It seems like a BIG SIN. If you got infected, you and your entire family have to face a possibility to be exiled from society. Or the best case, your family will still be in gossips for years. However, i really can not accept that Anna's sister herself refused to know her. Even if she got AIDS, it was not her fault. How can she be punished like that???
I tried to collect information. I have read that people got HIV first before AIDS. And it needs around 8 years to change from HIV to AIDS (Gurls, Is it true??). People can not get AIDS just because give some drinks or talk to AIDS infected person. Therefore i tried to convince Brenda, that it was OK for her letting Anna stayed at her home (I was not at my hometown , therefore i could not provide place for Anna). Brenda believed me, and did it, because Anna was her good friend. Anna told her that she had ever been to doctors. One said she was positive, other said negative (I thought anna did not know the difference between HIV and aids)
However, the gossips that she got infected spread so quickly. Several days later, Brenda called me and told me that she has asked Anna to leave her house. Brenda has children, and because the people still believe that AIDS can be spread by talking or giving a drink, she was afraid people think that she and her children will be infected too (it will be hard for the children's future). I knew i can not blame Brenda. She said all the things in tears. She love Anna, but she had to save her children's good name too. It was a dilemma. Anna went back to her mother in law's house and i got no contact with her.
A month after, she died. Just one of her brothers arranged the funeral. The others didn't even show their faces. People said she died because of aids, but i still believe that she died because of other disease (i knew she got bad flu and digestion problem, but she dare to go to doctors to check her disease anymore because of the gossips). Besides that, may be her heart hurt so much, knowing that nobody want her anymore.
I read chicken soup for the soul, which in it, there was a story about a woman who try to cheer her friend after knowing that her friend got AIDS. I cried and wished me and people in my town can do that. Not blaming what has happened but create a better life for the HIV / AIDS infected persons.I know this will be a really big challenge (since we need to 'educate' a whole town about AIDS, trying to make them aware the truth about HIV / AIDS and change the culture to be more friendly), but i really don't want this happen again. Knowing your friend got infected, exiled and can do nothing to help her.
Maybe all of you here can share your experience to make people aware of AIDS. Have you infected friend? What did you do to help his/her? Have you good links that provide all information about AIDS? (I really need to enhance my knowledge about this disease) Any suggestion,advice is really appreciated. Thank you in advance.
**After Anna's case, i agree with YN Moderator : If you think AIDS doesn't affect you, think again with your eyes wide open..."**
Mindfulness living is an ART
Topics 
