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It's *really, really* sad that gay people are so opressed in our society. Hope that all of that can change, but after a trip to the South, I can see that it will be a long, long road...

It is sad, but we have to consider ourselves lucky about how things used to be. If you're interested in reading a book on the gay rights history, there's this one I'm reading that's pretty informative. It's called "Making Gay History: the Half-Century fight for equal rights for gays and lesbians" and it's written by Eric Marcus. It's an excellent read and really interesting.

And yeah, I know that things won't stay 100% on topic but I didn't want this thread to turn into a big debate over homosexuality.

I'd like to get "Love, Ellen" but I haven't yet. My mom is really supportive but my dad is pretty much in denial. Plus, it sucks because here in Iowa, I only have one gay friend and I'm lucky I even found him.

Hmmm...

I'm not gay or bisexual, but I've an odd sexuality anyways, and I told mom, and she didn't believe me. She says I'm "confused". I don't think you're confused when you're having the same feelings for years.

My friends...some are OK with it some think it's wrong and blah blah blah.

I haven't told my dad. I know he'll take it wrong.

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I don't think Stallion meant it that way.

He did, trust me.

But I will be good and stay on topic. For a while my mom and I fought because she was very republican, very pro-Bush and very anti-gay marriage, in Massachusetts mind you. It got to a boiling point when I started my schools GSA and started making friends with new people which only further strained things between my mom and I, so she called a family friend. They had convinced her to call them instead of the mental hospital so they picked me up and i moved out, without me really knowing what was going on. A week later, everything was taken out of my room and I've been at my friend's house since. I didn't actually come out to my mom until a while later when I had to because there was a good chance I'd have to go to court for harassment stuff and threats, which would make it obvious that i was gay. Turns out, my sister had already told my mom. I was not pleased.

An aquantance of mine had his parents take it fine though. His mom has a gay brother though, so it wasn't a surprize to them.

But really, don't freak out if things don't stay 100% on topic. Atleast it was relatively close.

I'm gonna steer this thing back onto topic, 'k?

I'm a lesbian. I told my parents, oh, a year-and-a-half ago.
Well, they were not happy at all. Not at all. My dad was raised in the South in the fifties and sixties. Though he disagreed with many of the values that he'd been brought up with, like racism, he was still a fairly conservative Christian. My mom, on the other hand... was a mom. She was a woman who had married a good man and she wanted that same thing for her daughter. So she kept trying to talk me out of it. She even sent me to a therapist, who said, "You sound fine to me. You don't need to see me."

But through that whole period, you know what happened? Both parents said, "I love you unconditionally."
And it's gotten much better since then. I got a copy of Betty Degeneres's book, "Love, Ellen" and all three of us read it. We're talking freely about it, and both parents have pretty much accepted me. My mom has even said, "I can't wait to meet your first girlfriend."

It's not been an easy path, but it's been a lot better than the horror stories that we've all heard. Especially considering that I live in a conservative state that voted 75% in favor of Bush.
It's *really, really* sad that gay people are so opressed in our society. Hope that all of that can change, but after a trip to the South, I can see that it will be a long, long road...

I don't wanna sound rude or whatever but, seriously, can we get back on topic? Parents of lesbians and gays. What have you heard about them? Do you have friends who are gay and deal with their parents? Heard of supportive or not supportive parents? What have you heard? Anything about parents of lesbians and gays.

who would choose to be disowned, discriminated, and denied rights?

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And if the parents disagree with the choice to become a homosexual

It's not a choice. End of discussion.

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Originally posted by yogore:

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And if the parents disagree with the choice to become a homosexual, perhaps consuling, a restriction of privilages when disagreeable conduct occurs in the household, or other such action should be taken by the parents.

What message would this send to your child? That they are not loved because of a "choice" they made? It also encourages children to lie. When they lie, they don't get in trouble. parents should be supportive and treat their child no differently.

In the Nature vs Nurture outlook, if you don't believe it's just nature that it happens that wya, then it would have to be something you the parent did or some situation that resulted in the homosexuality of the child.

No one should be punished for being honest when they did nothing wrong. And I really hate that you assume it's a choice. It makes very little sense. If someone knew their parents would punish them, why would they choose it? it's illogical, but then again, logic doesn't seem to be a strong point in today's republicans.

Hey, don't get upset. I opened this discussion because I wanted to hear peoples thoughts. I agree with everything you said, though. I don't think Stallion meant it that way.

I've been fortunate to have parents like mine, who at least didn't kick me out. It's a sad fact that kids are kicked out of their own homes and their families for something they can't control. I believe gays and lesbians have the priviledge of growing up as survivors in a time when being gay isn't alright with the right-wing conservatives, or with the radical Christian/Catholics, and when they're harassed in schools. It makes us stronger people (us=gay community) to grow up and survive a world that isn't as accepting as we'd all like.

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And if the parents disagree with the choice to become a homosexual, perhaps consuling, a restriction of privilages when disagreeable conduct occurs in the household, or other such action should be taken by the parents.

What message would this send to your child? That they are not loved because of a "choice" they made? It also encourages children to lie. When they lie, they don't get in trouble. parents should be supportive and treat their child no differently.

In the Nature vs Nurture outlook, if you don't believe it's just nature that it happens that wya, then it would have to be something you the parent did or some situation that resulted in the homosexuality of the child.

No one should be punished for being honest when they did nothing wrong. And I really hate that you assume it's a choice. It makes very little sense. If someone knew their parents would punish them, why would they choose it? it's illogical, but then again, logic doesn't seem to be a strong point in today's republicans.

I haven't (because I'm not lesbian) but I have heard horror stories. It is the parents responsibility to raise the children and keep them safe, especially since its their genes they gave to the kid.

Parents have a responsibility to care for their children regardless of their choices. If the parents disagree with the choices their children have made, this sense of disapproval should be made known to the children, and depending on the particiular family law, request, or tradition, should be punished accordingly whether that be soap in the mouth for uttering a foul word or spanking a child for hurting his/her sibling. And if the parents disagree with the choice to become a homosexual, perhaps consuling, a restriction of privilages when disagreeable conduct occurs in the household, or other such action should be taken by the parents. But by no means should the parents abandon the child.