There seems to be a lot of anger towards parents. Many kids feel their parents do not understand them, that they do not allow them their freedom and rights. However, when parents try to talk to their kids and ask them what's going on, most kids simply reply "nothing" or get angry and assume their parents are being nosy. So if parents are so disconnected with their kids, how can they become re-connected? What can you, as kids, do to help bridge the "communication gap"?

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Originally posted by notsojoey:

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If your parents rules are annoying that means they are doing the right thing. If they aren't annoying, you have bad parents.

A brilliant remark from a brilliant intellectual. THoughts?

lol

I agree, when my mom tries to spend "quality" time with me i just get pissed, and tell her to go away. I don't know why but it just aggravates me.

Sheldon,
Sit your parents down together and tell them. just express to them what you feel and what's going on. don't do the suicide thing. it's really bad.

Thanks for the kind words of encouragement.

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If your parents rules are annoying that means they are doing the right thing. If they aren't annoying, you have bad parents.

A brilliant remark from a brilliant intellectual. THoughts?

If your parents rules are annoying that means they are doing the right thing. If they aren't annoying, you have bad parents.

hi i dont know wich answer is for me pleasstart it with sheldon so i know thanx

hi i relly need your help my parents devoreced 7 years ago so i spent primary school with my mom andat the begining of this year i have been living with my dad. but ut is not so great and i wanna come back so i told my mom and she thinks she has to fight my dad to get me back and my thinks the same but nether of them will listen to whet I WANT!plz help me. what must i do becaus i think a fake suacide attemt is a bit extreem so plz help me !

who are you to tell us what we do, in your situation ya maybe thats how it is. but what bout those parents that never ask how you are, never even take off the time to care, but just instead fight with you? the teens saying there parents dont understand might have it off alot harder than you do.

Colyn:

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Hope this helps!

Yes it does. I am not an advocate of parents being friends with their kids. I think you are correct in that the kids may have a difficult time in differentiating between the two; parent and friend. When that happens, it's possible that the parent will lose any control when it's needed.

I think the best thing you caould do is to trust your children, in the end if they have a problem you just have to hope someone will help them and they can talk to someone even if it isn't you. If you are too friendly with your children you will end up becoming just that a friend and perhaps they will open up to you. In the end all you can do is hope for the best. Hope this helps!

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How should the parent develop the trust at that point?

I don't know. I'm not the best on this subject. I don't have much of a relationship with my parents.

testing123: Point well taken. I was told something as a child that made no sense at the time, but now really makes a lot of sense. I was told that "the older you get, the smarter your parents get". I now see that I put my mom through a rough time while I was growing up and she did the best that she could.

When you say to prove you trust them, can you explain how? I've never spanked either of my kids; I got enough of the belt and broom sticks from my mom, yet occasionally they will lie to me about something. The natural response is to question them when they do something similar. How should the parent develop the trust at that point?

I think the only way you can get them to communicate with you is to prove you trust them.

However I may not be the best person to give advise on this subject.

I completely respect, and understand what you are saying. I believe that kids need to have some amount of privacy. The problem with us parents is that we get caught up in parenting and we forget what it's like to be your age. We see the world through eyes of protection, not eyes of trust. I remember my mom was always on my case about my girlfriends and at the time it really p**** me off. Now, I understand, completely, why she was always asking me about my friends and what I was doing. I would tell her anything just so I could do what I wanted, even if it was going to get me in trouble or hurt. The reality is that if I had gotten into serious trouble, my friends would not have been there to help me out; my mom would have been though.

So as a parent, I'm asking what can I do to encourage my kids to talk to me, without pushing them away. Remember that I am responsible for them (even though they will think that they can handle themselves and don't need any help). Thank you for your honesty and, again, I respect what you are saying.

I think that the reason that we reply "nothing" is because we don't want our parents to go overboard with what happens in our lives. Like i don't want my mom to go deeper and deeper with my love life. There are things in my life that i just don't want her to know.