anything but abuse would work against kids. abuse just leaves them scarred and full of anger and hatred for their parents.

time outs are useless. kids won't learn anything from it. i'm not saying that spankings are a good idea though. there's gotta be a better solution than violence or time outs.

or instead of exposing your child to violence you could just scare them or put them in a time out rather than hitting them.

seriously, there is something wrong with people who punish with violence.

haven't you ever heard that violence doesn't solve anything.

I think giving a child a spanking is a good thing... well not a good thing, but a good punishment to teach them right from wrong.
ex. "susan don't ever cross the road without mommy"
"SUSAN!!! What did I just say about crossing the road! Get over here!" *spanking*

I was spanked as a kid, there's nothing wrong with spanking a child to teach them right from wrong.
Hitting them really hard, continuously is WRONG! That's abuse.

okay. let me try to explain this as bluntly as i can.

sometimes, when i'm in bed with my boyfriend, he spanks me because it's sexy and silly and fun. it involves his hand essentially grabbing my ass during funtime.

why would i want to do that to a kid, when i myself enjoy it in bed, as do countless other adults.

why don't we just handcuff children to beds or whip them as punishment?

maybe I feel this way because i was never spanked by my parents, so I have come to view the act of spanking as something that is sexual and should be done between two adults during their funtime, not by some parent to their kid.

seriously, i find it awkward people would touch a kids ass as punishment.

quote:

Originally posted by Hoopdawg08:
yeah, umm I didn't say spanking would give kids a pain/punishment fetish.
What I said was that excessive discipline can cause punishment to become a fetish when the child grows up, and that too little discipline can have the same affect.

oh ok i just misunderstood. i do get what u mean though. i still think Wolfie is strange for thinking of it sexually. i mean unless ur kid is really strange they're not gonna think of it like that and neither should the parent. and if the parent thinks of it like that then they should be in jail!!!

I feel like even 10, 20 years ago, it was much more the norm for kids to get spankings when they misbehaved. Now parents are questioning corporal punishment as a way to discipline kids.

My parents occasionally spanked us when we were little-- not often and never hard enough to hurt. It didn't traumatize me, but I don't think it was a good way of teaching right from wrong. It's confusing to tell a little kid "don't hit your sister" and then spank her as a punishment. Uhh, I thought hitting was bad? The lessons I remember from when I was a kid are the ones where my parents explained what I had done wrong, the reasons, the consequences, all of that.

yeah, umm I didn't say spanking would give kids a pain/punishment fetish.
What I said was that excessive discipline can cause punishment to become a fetish when the child grows up, and that too little discipline can have the same affect.

lol, again you aren't reading the threads. Where do we say "if you spank a kid, he'll get a pain fetish."

I was just talking about how I think people who spank their kids are freaks because that's what adults do to each other in bed sometimes. I'm sorry but something that I enjoy in a sexual way should not be a punishment for children... it's awkward.

Seriously, how sexual does ass slapping sound...

seriously? a pain fetish? people spanking in bed? u guys are creepy to think that spankings would even have anything to do with what it does in the adult sense. spankings keep kids in line (not that i think its ok or anything) and it will not make them develop a pain fetish. if anything it would make them afraid of pain. unless of course the kid is already a twisted soul lol

i never understood the logic of "if a person does something bad we use violence"

lol, i don't have a pain fetish.

But those people who spank in bed usually have a punishment or pain fetish, which can be developed by too much spanking/abuse as a child or too little discipline as a child.

That's right parents- find the balance between zero discipline and abuse or your kids will be sado-masochists!

dude, people spank in bed. like adults to each other.

WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO A KID????

just too weird

tooooo weird

If you are only spanking the child so that they associate their actions with the punishment it is not abuse.

If the child's actions have pissed you off and you are blowing off some steam by spanking them it is abuse.

If the child has made a mistake or accidentally spilled something, they should not be spanked- a scolding for being careless would work better.

If your kid is afraid of you and flinches whenever you make a sudden movement near them, it's probably abuse.

- If you leave marks for days, ABUSE.

- If you do it out of pure anger and not teaching the child to behave, ABUSE.
(Give or take, the times you got really mad and just hit them. But, that shouldn't happen a lot and you should feel somewhat bad).

- If the child is scared of you or feels upset in some way like ashamed, ABUSE.

- If you are still hitting the child after a certain age, ABUSE.

It depends on the situation

quote:

if this is how your parents got punished thats their problem. please dont pass these behaviors to your kids. and if u are going to punish your kid in a physical way, dont go any farther than a small spank in the a**. some lil kids i know get spanked A LOT and they are the ones that are most violent in school with others. its not a good thing.

I find this notion absurd. Its ok to say that you dont beleive in something, its definitely not ok tell someone else they shouldnt do it. How do you decide that its wierd, there are a lot of areas were people live were everybody does it, therefore its not weird. Whats weird is relative to each person in a different way

Spanking on the buttocks is in no way abuse. My definition of abuse would be striking someone in the face with a closed fist. I was spanked as a child, and Im not traumatised by it at all. Im never gonna spank my kids because i dont think its an effective punishment.
Wether you believe spanking is ok or not it is wrong to interfere in another families business and prohibit a type of punishment because you dont beleive in it, trust me this can have horrible consequences. When I was nine my mother kidnapped me and my two brothers and hid us from are dad. This lasted for the rest of my life. We were never aloud to contact him and he couldnt find us. I didnt see my Dad till I tracked him down 15 years later. Even after I was 18 my mom never told me his address. Thats trauma, thats child abuse, what was done to me. I grew up without a father because people beleived that spanking was abuse. In court my mother told the judge that he abused us, before my dad could even tell his side of the story the judge had already decided. He was to have no custody no visits, and no contact until we were adults. I can never get back the time I lost with my dad, and ill never get a good childhood, this is all because a group of people decided to break up a family based on there beleifs alone. If you think that other people shouldnt spank there kids, ask yourself "is it even my business?, and what are the consequences executing these ideals?".
Due to my personal experience I have to say that Social Services commits the more child abuse than people whoi spank there kids.

i'm sorry but i think spanking is weird, too. it's too sexual for me.

maybe i just have a dirty mind. v.v

quote:

Originally posted by toucansam:
call the police
i hate parents that spank
makes me want to hire someone to bulldoze them
spanking IS considered abuse
its against the law


and if someone says its not wrong or its not abuse , IT IS
you would randomly go around town spanking people now, would you ?
parnets are crazy

i dont think its abusee ; but i mean no we wouldnt walk around spankinq people ; if they dont act riqht then a spankinq will help . POINT BLANK .

Well, I don't really think spanking is abuse, but I don't think it's a very good punishment. It hurts for a few minutes, and you don't learn anything. It's pretty much teaching your kids it's OK to hit people. Forms of grounding (no TV, no computer) are more effective.