note: i'm seventeen, my parents have been divorced for about seven years.

i've never gotten along well with my mom. our personalities tend to clash- i'm very laid-back and stoic while she's high-strung and hyperactive. still, we can usually keep conversation civil. however, she's developed a habit of directly contradicting herself and i don't know how to react to it.

for example, last year she demanded that i get a job. i figured it was about time so i began working at a clothing store in the mall. she congratulates me and seems pretty happy with it. two weeks later, she insists that i quit. why? "because i'm your mom." i have good grades, i'm keeping up with the clubs i'm in at school, and i still balance a social life. i refuse to quit since i'm generally happy with the job and i'm still in the 'job=good' mindset, so she begins to systematically make me miserable until i quit. things like taking away my car, grounding me, calling me out of work, and stealing my phone. i finally succomb and quit my job, only to have my mom bitching at me a week later for being lazy and not having a job.

a more recent example- my boyfriend recently moved to a town about an hour's drive away. i ask my mom if i can go down to see him on saturday. she says yes and seems genuinely excited for me. the next day, the day i'm supposed to be leaving, she tells me i can't go. again, she gives no reason for her change in heart. i'm expectedly upset over this because my boyfriend and i had really planned things out and were excited to see one another. i spend the rest of the day sort of locked up in my room since i was really crushed by her decision and my mom busts in, furious that i've done nothing all day and ranting and raving over how i'm acting. i tell her i'm upset over her last minute mind change, she's baffled as to why.

i don't know what to do. i hate hanging out with my friends because there's always a good chance she'll call and make me go home. everyone considers me a flake because i usually have to cancel my own plans to accommodate my mom's crazy wishes. i have tried time after time to talk to my mom about this, but she accuses me of insulting her and she just ends up running away and calling my dad, who then lectures me about respect, talking over me when i try to reason with him. i've been a ridiculously good child and i have no idea why my mom is acting like a jealous little kid. it's the most frustrating, depressing thing in the world.

outside of outright defying my parents, what can i do about this?

By the sounds of things you have not been doing anything wrong, she should appreciate you for having good qualities like getting a job.Try talking to her to see if you can improve your situation and hopefully it will get better.

I think there is probably something else going on here. I think that you might be acting overly dramatic.