How is spanking less harmful if the parent puts on a calm face when they hit their child? Wouldn't that be worse? For me at least, it's easier to understand that somebody has hit you because they lost control than to try and figure out why they do not seem to care at all that they are hurting you-or why they would want to hurt you when they appear to be perfectly calm and rational.

Also, do you really believe that a parent who is spanking their child isn't angry? All they've done is stifled and redirected their anger into the punishment of spanking.

A lot of people are saying they were spanked and have become better people for it. I'm very curious as to how and why....so if somebody could explain I'd appreciate it.

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but for big things like lying and being disrespectful

I don't think being disrespectful is a big thing. All kids are disrespectful sometimes. They are literally incapable of being anything but self-centered--at least until sometime in adolescence. And I think hitting someone is beyond disrespectful. What would your parents do to you if (hypothetically of course) you beat somebody up or they caught you with stolen goods.

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Some people have an inherrent flaw that causes them to rebel against authority, no amount of discipline will help them

Some people question authority and find reasonable cause to rebel.

Discipline means "to teach" and spanking is a punishment with no logical connection to any "crime" except a kid hitting someone and getting spanked for it (and that just doesn't make any sense).

For people who are pro-spanking, do you see spanking as hurting a child or not? Forget about long term, forget about what the child did, just think about whether or not spanking is a bigger person hurting another in a certan moment. If you see it as an attempt to cause hurt (physical or emotional), why do you think it's okay? If you were in charge of the care of an adult with the emotional and mental capacity of a five year old, would it be alright to hit them if they misbehaved? Why or why not?

I went to a private school where we were hit with a paddle. It only happened to me once and I told my dad that night and he cut our Bible reading short to spank me. I am a much better person for it.

In most cases, ADD is an excuse for teachers to drug students into stupidity. I know what it's like to be accused by a teacher of something, I'm hyperlexic, they took it wrong and had no idea what it was and though I had ADD but I don't.

Anyways, for once I agree with FML. No one cares for detention or getting kicked out of school.

It doesn't bother me. I was well behaved and did not require a paddle. But some kids need a paddle like a fish needs water.

Please let that be sarcasm, FML.

I think schools should still employ paddles. That would solve the ADD thing too. Two birds with one stone.

It depends. A child's behavoir is carried on until he starts to realize that the wrong he did was actually wrong. My parents have spanked both me and my little brother but it was when we were acting way off from what they wanted us to act. Most of those times when I made something wrong, they talked to me and advised me what to do the next time it happens again. In conclusion, parents should teach their kids on how to use their initiatives before spanking them as a sign of "love" which I don't believe can be gain through serious spankings and tortures. Early education starts at home and parents should be the ones teaching their kids not to be bullies.

i was spanked. i'm sure almost every child wether spanked or not has gone in physical activity to solve a problem, some have lost, some haven't. That's not the issue when it comes to spanking.

Yes it should be done within reason and age. I was spanked, not a whole lot (as i remember anyway) and I have noticed children who weren't spanked and/or disceplined enough have high tempers and get into alot of fights. However, kids who are hit, beat, spanked, and yelled at for no good reason as young children grow to have EXTREMELY hight tempers and fight with kids and parents alike. Trust me on this, I've witnessed it.

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It may seem extreme but i bet that if u took a servey and the kids who were spanked when they were kids get into more fights that kids who don't get into fights.

Ooh! I love surveys! Can everyone just let us know if they were spanked or not and then say how many fights they've been involved in recently and/or the last time they were involved in physical violence against someone...

I'll start. I was spanked as a child, not a a primary reason of punishment, but for big things like lying and being disrespectful. I have never gotten into a physical fight with someone, and the last time I took physical means to solve a problem was when I grabbed the remote from my sister's hand. I don't want to hurt people, and I certainly don't want my parents to be disappointed in me.

Anyone else who would like to share, please do so!

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w

i don't think that children should be spanked. it teaches kids that when someone does something that they don't think is right, to resort to physical punishment. i do not want my child growing up thinking that when someone does something that he does not like, physical activity is OK. It may seem extreme but i bet that if u took a servey and the kids who were spanked when they were kids get into more fights that kids who don't get into fights.

As with any punishment, it has to fit the crime.

it all depends on the child really and the parent has to know the kid my parents spanked me and im ok my parents spanked my brother too but i didnt say that he is ok
what does spanking have to do with bullying?

I will spank my children, but I agree with Twins that it must not be done in anger. When I was spanked by my father, it was always a calm experience and there was never yelling. The worst part of the spanking is the shame that the child feels, not really the physical pain.

i think that spanking in itself is not bad per se. its just how it is usually used that is bad. when a parent is mad that is the WORST time to hit a child in any way. i think if spanking was purely disciplinary and the disciplinarian had not lost his/her cool it would be ok. me, personally, i have too much of a temper and i don't think i will spank my kidlets.

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the best way to raise a kid is to use positive reinforcement

No. The best way to raise a child is to have a balance of positive and negative reinforcment. Just like with a dog, there has to be both thigs there to help them learn. If, when you were spanked you ran around like an animal, then maybe your parents were not doing a very good job anyway. There must have been other things going on.

I think spanking a kid does abolutely nothing for discipining a child. When me and my sisters were spanked, we would laugh and run around like a bunch of wild animals. In my opinion, the best way to raise a kid is to use positive reinforcement. Now spanking might work for some kids but seriously, i wouldn't do it.

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Since being a brat has no pain associated with it, you must associate spanking with being a brat, then the kid stops being a brat. If I had a dollar for every time I see a whiney kid at the mall controlling it's mother rather than vice versa, I'd be rich. Generally it's the kids that DON'T get spanked that will grow up and be bullies.

what's the logic behind your reasoning that kids who aren't spanked grow up to be bullies?

A small child cannot control an adult, unless the adult has no control over themselves. They are too small, and too physically weak. Very young children are not too small to learn that doing something does or does not get them attention or what they want, even if they don't understand why, all you have to do is stand firm and ignore negative behaviors, only stepping in to physically move an object or the kid when absolutely necessary.

Kids can be taken out of the store when they scream (or just not taken along, if possible), they can have quiet time, they can be supervised and physically restrained without being caused pain to protect them and other people.

What it sounds to me like you're saying is that a parent's comfort is more important than their child's. Because no matter what action the adult takes, the really young kid won't get that they've done something "wrong". If you succeed in making a kid behave by hitting them, you're saying you don't have the patience to wait it out and/or make the effort to relate to them on their level until they are able to understand what you are saying.

Actually, this is only my dad we're talking about.

Spanking is a form of discipline. It can be quite effective but abuse is not. It sounds like your father was abused. Corporal punishment has it's place in discipline. It should not be daily. But it should be there as a statement of boundaries. Some people have an inherrent flaw that causes them to rebel against authority, no amount of discipline will help them. Some parents like yours it sounds, are going to be poor disciplinarians because they had poor father figures to show them how to raise a happy, law abiding, respectful citizen.

FML-for clarification, my dad's dad hit him quite a bit, and the result was that he was totally messed up and missed out on his childhood; as a result, he still acts like a kid in that he isn't responsible and acts more on impulse. i almost feel sorry for him.