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Both are for power over the other.

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Is that your only argument for it? There's a lot more arguments that could prove the two seperate than just one argument.

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Please explain how the two are the same.

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Both are for power over the other.

As I keep saying, a spanking is not the only solution if teaching a lesson is the only goal.

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No, they aren't different. it is thinking they are different which makes you believe that one is okay

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They're different. A parent spanks a child so the child won't do whatever they did wrong again. A bully beats people up because he's mean, not because he's teaching the person a valuable lesson.
Please explain how the two are the same.

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Yes, they are different.

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Then explain how they are different. You haven't so far. You may not use tha "spanking shows love" because I have already told you about that.

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I guess I just don't understand your thinking.

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There's not much to misunderstand.
Spanking does not show love.
Children should not need to fear their parents.

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And who says that you can't fear being grounded? Or what if it's not that you're afraid of being spanked but it's just that you don't like it?

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Sure, you can fear getting grounded, but that's not fearing being physically hurt. No one likes being hurt unless you're a sadist. If you don't fear spanking, you only don't like it, then it has the same purpose of its nonviolent counterpart, grounding. If it is supposed to have the same function, parents should pick the one that does not hurt their child physically.

Yes, they are different.

And who says that you can't fear being grounded? Or what if it's not that you're afraid of being spanked but it's just that you don't like it?

I guess I just don't understand your thinking.

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Yes, it's also instilling fear, that's how you teach a kid not to do something again. A parent instilling fear and a bully instilling fear are two completly separate things.

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No, they aren't different. it is thinking they are different which makes you believe that one is okay. I know parents who don't need to be feared by their children in order to teach them what is right and wrong.

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That's not the only reason for spanking. By spanking, you are exerting control and showing that you have it. As it has been said on here, spanking is to instill fear, same as being beaten up by a bully.

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Yes, spanking is exerting control. A parent is SUPPOSED to have control. Yes, it's also instilling fear, that's how you teach a kid not to do something again. A parent instilling fear and a bully instilling fear are two completly separate things.

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Well isn't that the same with any kind of discipline? Example: you know that if you come home after curfew you will be grounded, and you don't want that. It's the basic idea of instilling a fear of the discipline (spanking, grounding, taking something away, whatever). It helps to teach consequences, because every action has some sort of consequence and children need to learn that in life: bad actions have bad consequences.

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Good point.

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Well isn't that the same with any kind of discipline? Example: you know that if you come home after curfew you will be grounded, and you don't want that. It's the basic idea of instilling a fear of the discipline (spanking, grounding, taking something away, whatever). It helps to teach consequences, because every action has some sort of consequence and children need to learn that in life: bad actions have bad consequences.

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It's not about fearing getting grounded. You might not like it but you don't fear it. The fear comes with spanking, as it physically hurts. You can discipline without fear.

Only the kind of fear of being disciplined, and of course spanking may cause slight pain if not used in an over-the-top way.

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my point was that many parents hold the idea that they need to have their children fear them, and that is where spanking comes in.

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Well isn't that the same with any kind of discipline? Example: you know that if you come home after curfew you will be grounded, and you don't want that. It's the basic idea of instilling a fear of the discipline (spanking, grounding, taking something away, whatever). It helps to teach consequences, because every action has some sort of consequence and children need to learn that in life: bad actions have bad consequences.

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In some rare cases, a child may need a spanking, but hardly ever.

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I agree with that. I just don't think that being spanked every now and then will mentally damage the child for life, if not done in an overly abusive way.


And no, fear does not equal love. Decent discpline for the right reasons = care, = love.

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Discipline is different than spanking.

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It's like the sqaure/rectangle thing. Every square is a rectangle, but not every rectangle is a square. Not all discipline involves spanking, but spanking is a form of discipline.

Discipline is different than spanking.

And about fear, I was regarding this:

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The reason why grounding and removing privilages works for me now (even though it is a biannual event...) is because I have a slight fear of my parents.

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And the love=fear thing was also a small conection to the bible aswell, but that wasn't my point. my point was that many parents hold the idea that they need to have their children fear them, and that is where spanking comes in.

Spanking didn't make me afraid of my parents; I love them to no end. Instead, it showed me that throwing a fit in a store (or whatver else I did) was not okay. Discipline teaches kids that bad behavior does have consequences.

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Don't tell me what my logic is.
Getting beat up by a bully is entirely different. A bully beats someone up because they like to be in control, and when they beat someone up, they're not trying to teach them a valuable lesson, they're just beating them up because the person did something they didn't like.
A parent spanks a child to teach them a valuable lesson.

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That's not the only reason for spanking. By spanking, you are exerting control and showing that you have it. As it has been said on here, spanking is to instill fear, same as being beaten up by a bully.

And i was simply telling you what your logic was when applied.

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Getting beat up isn't right, but it teaches you to not to stand up bullies. That's your logic and I disagree with it.

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Don't tell me what my logic is.
Getting beat up by a bully is entirely different. A bully beats someone up because they like to be in control, and when they beat someone up, they're not trying to teach them a valuable lesson, they're just beating them up because the person did something they didn't like.
A parent spanks a child to teach them a valuable lesson.

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It might not be right, but it certainly taught me not to lock the bathroom door.

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Getting beat up isn't right, but it teaches you to not to stand up bullies. That's your logic and I disagree with it.

Spanking is ok, as long as it doesnt bruise the skin.

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Hurting someone doesn't help anything, and it is not right. If it wasn't your child it would be an assualt and battery.

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It might not be right, but it certainly taught me not to lock the bathroom door.

Hurting someone doesn't help anything, and it is not right. If it wasn't your child it would be an assualt and battery.

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A parent may discipline for the good of their child (spanking not icluded), but the child won't see it this way.

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They may not see discipline as good right away, but eventually a child will realize it was for the best.
Example: When I was little I used to lock the bathroom door (I wasn't in it, so my dad had to take the door knob off to unlock it).
Whenever I did it, I got spanked, At first I didn't think it was very good, but now that I'm older, I realize it taught me the very valuable lesson of not locking doors.

I know you said spanking not included, and I didn't really post this as an argument to what you said. I just wanted to show that spanking can be helpful.

I disagree completely about fear=love, which is what you are all implying. Your parents showed love by instilling fear into you. That is an unhealthy dynamic. To be a good parent, you don't need to use spanking in order for your children to listen, respect you, and grow up into good people.

You are making sweeping generalizations that because someone wasn't spanked they are now a bad person. I disagree with that whole heartedly. In some rare cases, a child may need a spanking, but hardly ever.