yeah, I agree with Italian and Euterpe. I didnt get spanked much as a child because my parents were really consistent. Something wasnt bad one day and then funny the next. My mom had the ultimate look so I knew if she gave it to me, then I needed to stop whatever I was doing and I wouldnt get spanked.

Without wasting space to quote Italian's post, I completely agree. Then again, sometimes you can just instill fear into your kids without hitting them at all. I was rarely hit as a child, because I was aware that if I did something wrong, I *could* get hit. Also, my mother had perfected the "Mommy Look of Death" which will make you want to melt in your seat.

Spanking is completely legitimate and should be used situationally. Certainly there is a fine line between discipline and abuse, but it's one that too few parents are willing to walk due to constant pressures by society. The think that all children can learn well by nuturing alone and that fostering an atmosphere of hugs and kisses alone can produce a disciplined and respectful individual. The fact of the matter is that different children respond differently to different stimuli. Spanking should be used as an alternative when others have failed. If it is used as a last resort, the child will know where the line is drawn and will avoid that route.

However, there are less drastic means of discipline that are also neglected such as time-outs, groundings, restriction of priviliges or increase in responsibilities that could be used to instill respect and discipline in children.

Personally, respect needs to be developed at an early age and this crap about "I won't give respect until I am respected" needs to be thrown out the window. Respect should be given regardless of how you are treated. What are we showing our youth when we succomb to other people's lack of respect? When we stoop to their level? It's disgusting. People walk around thinking that they are owed something from society. This garbage needs to be eliminated as early as possible and it's the parents responsibility to take the necessary steps to ensure that respect and discipline is known by their children.

I was spanked when I was young.

Look at me now.

I definetely think that parents should spank/hit their kids because I have been to the supermarket/the mall and have seen a lot of really bad kids. Not just rebellious, like hitting thier parents and running away and stuff like that. And i dont mean like teenagers, I mean under 10. What scares me is that those kids will be running our world in about 20 years and that probably wouldnt be good. Now I have seen kids who's parents don't take it and either slap or spank them and those kids seem like they are definetely more refined and respectful, so my vote=spank away, but to a degree, no abuse or anything like that.

spanking is good for the short term but studies have suggested definite phsychological disorders from long term abuse such as antisocial behaviour and IQ aswell as arrested emotional developement, disorders, anxiety, depression.. i myself was greatly abused - i ran from my father anywhere i could get away..locked myself in etc, it was frequent and i became a bully taking my anger out on ppl. ive experienced all of the above, i wasnt just spanked however, mostly. i say spanking baaaaad

spankin isnt the only solution to punish a child =)

well lets just put it this way if i got spanked i would hit back

Spanking feels really humiliating and painful. I do not think children should be spanked unless they have done something very wrong.

Most children are spanked because their parents are angry. I do not think children should be spanked only because their parents are angry at them.

I think spanking is fine as long as it's not used to punish every single time. And I think it's wrong to be spanked as a teenager. To me it's leaning toward sexual abuse if the dad is spanking a teenage daughter. ugh...it just makes me shudder *shudders*

If used in moderation. Not every time, but not spaced out too much. Don't make a pattern of it and it will remain effective.

I was never grounded, because in our family, it doesn't really make a difference. We're so anti-social, that it really doesn't change anything, so my parents just didn't do it.

I come from a country in which any spanking is a crime. People get jailed for spanking children.

The reason for this is that a lot of child abuse was camouflaged as spanking or disipline. When parents who hit their children out of anger could explain it as discipline it was much more difficult for social workers to help the children.

The problem with a total ban of spanking is that a lot of children know they can do whatever they want without much risk. Some parents also invents other forms of disipline which is perhaps even more harmful than spanking.

At school there is a lot of bullying. The bullies know that they have the right not to be punished. It is not easy for the teachers to stop them.

In agreeance with what 4th said:

Whenever my parents and I get into an argument, it always ends up with me wanting real reasons for their objections and their answer is, "You don't need a reason aside from I don't want you to."

To me, that's ridiculous. There is always a legitimate reason for every good decision. And if there is not one then it's not a good decision and I want to explain my side of it. Especially now that I'm a teenager, it seems I never get to give my side, my reasoning, any of that. I always get shut down first. I want to make sure I have good discussions with my kids when necessary.

As far as grounding....it only hurt me once I had a boyfriend. My first boyfriend, we couldn't drive. But this bf can and we went on a LOT of dates. Then the grounding thing was absolutely no fun at all. But before then, I really had no place for them to ground me from. I was usually home anyway.

Well, I like it.

yes something has to teach the little monsters right and wrong and time outs sure a hell don't do anything

Another thing that I am going to try to remember when I have kids is that I really wanted to talk. I wanted real reasons and for my voice to be heard even when I was very little. I remember this still. Sometimes it really will work to treat a kid like a coherant adult, they do have valid viewpoints on some things.

I was spanked a lot. I also got soap in my mouth. Oddly the soap was much more dramatic, something about having a bar shoved into your mouth while someone grabs your head and then you choke while it's ground onto your teeth... I'm not doing that.

The only time spanking ever bothered me was one time when I hadn't had it for a while and I told my dad I was too old for it. I felt... "violated" I guess.

I also had time outs and lost privilages/groundings. Grounding me seemed to work best in all honesty. Sure I might have thrown a temper tantrum at the time.. but I never made much of a connection between the pain and why what I did was wrong when I was little.

The soap in the mouth was supposed to be ironic or something. But anyone who knows me now will tell you I still sound like a sailor.

quote:

he's a little brat and should be smacked upside the head when he does something stupid, that would teach him that he shouldn't be doing what he's doing.

My brother should have the friggin **** kicked out of him. He got suspended for the rest of the school year (it started two weeks ago)

My parents don't believe in spanking. But me and brother had time out. And we both have short attention spans as it is so think about a fove year old...