Have you ever had a teacher who knows some things about you but it's the things that they may or may not need or even want to know but they do? And once they know they can't not know and just erase what you said. But as months go by you get close to that teacher but then all of a sudden you close yourself off to them so you rebell because if you open up to them you will get hurt. Is there anyone out there who knows what I am talking about? I need some advice on what to do on this subject so I can help a friend.

I passed the information on to my friend-especially the information about the Rogerian listening skills (thank you gayquestionnare) and she told me that she is still rebelling against him but not as bad. But she still thinks that he hates her and a week and a half ago she had asked him if he really hated her and they got into this little agruement and she walked out on him because she couldn't express why she thought that. For her, the walls are starting to fall but she is still a little resistent to him and I have a feeling that she is going to keep rebelling against him and she is going to screw herself in a hole that she can't get out of. What should I tell her this time?

I have been in that same kind of thing before. I think that if you talk to them about it. You won't get hurt they might understand more what you feel. If they are a real good teacher and they have a close relationship with you i don't think that they will ture you away. Because, i know i have told stuff to my teachers that i could never tell my mom or dad just because if what kind of information it is.

No problem. It is a very very difficult technique to partice much less master. I have tried it before and without even thinking about it your opinion winds up in there. You basically just reflect what the person is saying. Like if they come in an say I don't feel well you just say you're not feeling well? Very difficult. It's something we learned in psych. Well I hope the best for you and your friend.

Ciao

I looked up Rogerian listening skills the other day. I didn't have a lot of time to read up on it that day because I was in the library during my lunch break at school. But from what I have read on it, it looks like you have to be a very disiplined person for it to work. I want to try it and so does my friend. We are up for the challenge. Thanks for the post gayquestionnare.

Another thing you might try is Rogerian listening skills. It is very difficult to do because you have to keep your opinion out of it and let the client figure it out for themselves but it is generally effective. Look it up under google.

Ciao

Usually I know what to say because I feel like some of the things that have happened to me has given me a different prespective on things. It's just this one time I haven't been up in this situation before so I didn't know what to say. Thanks.

Well everyone makes mistakes. As a professional the teacher has an obligation to his students and their comfort (because comfort affects how you learn. I can imagine how difficult if would be to learn if you couldn't stand the constant scrutiny of your teacher) and their education. Perhaps she can have her class changed after meeting with her guidance counselor. Or if she wants it kept private perhaps she could speak with her school psychologist who has a responsibility to doctor-client confidentiality unless someone's health or life is in immediate danger (then he or she is required by law to notify authorities). And I know it's going to be difficult but she might just have to tough it out. There are only a few years left until she never has to see this teacher again. In the mean time all you can do is be supportive and just be there for her to talk to. I hope something I said helped.

Ciao

This friend looks up to this teacher as a certain kind of figure and he knows about it. After she told him I think she expected everything or at least something to change but I don't really think that it did. So she started to get close to him and I am assuming he didn't know that either. Well, she clamped up this summer towards him and ever since school has started to rebel to everything he has said. She says she is doing all of this because she doesn't want to get hurt even though she still looks up to him in that way. She wants my advice on this and I don't know what to tell her.

Just for clarification your friend knows a teacher who knows something about your friend and they were good friends before hand or after the fact? Like go a little deeper for me here I can't quite grasp the entire situation. Are we talking relationship level with this teacher? It sounds like someone confessed feelings for a teacher and after getting close they clammed up because they got scared of getting hurt? I'm probably a million miles off there but I have dealt with that before so if that is the case I'll talk.

Ciao