i've been verbally abused by my mom all my life. i try and disregard all the things she calls me. from constantly calling me stupid, telling me im a failure, im not going to college, and all those good stuff... shes told me to go kill myself. she's threw glass cup at my face, and ran after me with a knife. yeah.. i dont know what to do. i dont know what to say to her that'll make her understand what shes doing to me. im turning into her, and i dont want to.

am i the only one with a verbally abusive parent?

what?!?!
I think she knows what she's doing to you and doing it on purpose. I think its rare that an abusive parents doesn't know they're doing it.
and chasing you around with a knife...she needs help..you need help.

Welcome to yn, whattodo. In the future, please condense all your replies to one post. If you find there is an error in a reply, in the top right hand corner of the post is an edit option, and is functional a few minutes after the post is made. Posting once as opposed to three times helps keep things less confusing on the boards.

They are nice to everyone, except when you get home and no one is around. Everyone will think they're great and it's because they go out of their way to be normal and happy. Then other people close to them, but that do not live in the house will be told how "BAD" you are. No one knows!!!

BE SILENT: IT WILL SHORTEN THEIR EPISODES!!! THEN WHEN YOU ARE ABLE GET OUT!!! THEY DON'T CONTROL YOU!!!

If you are young and can't leave, these things you probably have already learned.
-Give them whatever they want, keep doing what you can to limit their freakouts or the severity of it, like you've learned to do(tricks to walking on their eggshells).
-BE SILENT. When they are having a freakout and yelling at you. If you cannot leave and are trapped just be silent, do not say one word to them. It will shorten their episode and make it less severe. If you don't say anything then they don't have an argument. Don't fuel the fire, just be still and silent and do what they say. Remember they have no logic. The things you do say are logical, like: "Why are you yelling at me?", "Please lets calm down, settle down.", "Your overreacting, being ridiculous." These words make sense to you not to them, so don't try to be logical, it will not work. Just be quiet and keep doing your survival tactics.

hi.... my name is chazmine and i am verbally abused by my mother. she has always made me feel bad but as i have gotten older it has gotten worser. it all started when she met this man. when i was younger we lived with my grandmother and mother was always home except for when she had to work. when he came into the picture i only saw her n the mornings. now we live with him and its hell. she beats me with cords branches from trees and smacks me. she calls me dirty hoes and sluts and she even tld me that i aint shit and she gone treat me like shit for the rest of my life. her boyfriend encourages it too tellin her shes not tough enough on me. i feel like an outsider in my own house and i shouldnt be this way. im scared to talk to family because they jus tell her what i say and it makes the situation worse cause i have to go home with her. i jus need someone to talk to tell me things are going to be ok

Abuse or suspected abuse is scary and knowing how – and when – to seek help can be confusing. If you or someone you know are experiencing abuse, please consider the following:

• Call 911 if you are ever in harm’s way or you feel you may want to harm yourself.
• Contact your local Department of Family and Children Services for protection.
• Seek assistance from a trusted adult (such as a teacher, friend’s parent, or your church pastor) or family member.
• The Child Help National Hotline is available 24 hours a day / 7 days a week--and is totally anonymous. Visit http://www.childhelp.org/get_help or call 1-800-4-A-CHILD
• The TeensHealth website has helpful information and resources. Resource Room

To contact YN privately, email us at feedback@youthnoise.com. If email's not safe, YN will provide a private location online. Please keep us posted and be safe.

I've been verbally aboused all my life, it sucks I've been called everything in the book from a fuckup to a whore It hurts my feelings but I don't let people see that. They even talked about my real dad right in front of me and he left me when I was 5 they said I was going to be just like him
I've been physically abused too, and no I've never spoken up about it b/c the way my mom and stepdad act in front of ppl is totally different then how they act alone. I've had bruises just about everywhere. I've went to school with a busted lip and a black eye before and I was emotional
its not an easy thing to explain to someone.
its inevetable to turn into our parents. Unless we are determained not to.(which I am)

my name is Layne i am 14and have been fighting my extreemly verbaly abusiv ADOPTIV mother all my life. i am not an anorexi though she does call me fat often. but now.. i'v begun to stop fighting... i dont realy try anymore she has taken everything i used to love doing from me. i have tryed suicide 7 times and she will not acsept that thare is a problem. we go to a therapist but she lies so much the therapist dosen't know what to do.
even worse is that the constant attacking and screeming has taken a huge tole on my phych so much so that i have a cronic illness. noone knows what it is exactaly but i wake yo dissy almost every morning. i think my boy simply cant cope with any other stress than what i already have. i'v tryed everything... running away calling people and nothing works because she lies... and mu fother dosent even try to stop it.. im exosted of fighting and i have another four years maby more.. can anyone help me? at all?

Hi, my name is vanessa..Ive been vervaly and fisically abused for as long as i can remember.

My father was a drug addict.Him and my mom would always argue with each other after school.My mom would argue about finantial problems and how there wasnt enough food in the fridge for me and my little brother.And how he would steal our thigs in the house to sell them for drugs.

Then almost everyday sfter arguing w. my mother he woul go into my room and start hitting me and telling me how bad of akid i was.


Then i grew a little older ,i was like 11 wen i first started standing up for myself.But it seemed like the more i stood up for myself the more he hit me with the belt and threw me across the walls and slammed my head against the corner of the bed.And i couldnt be tough, so i cried."If you cry then ill whop your ass again!!!" he used to say it all the time....While my dad used to whip me in my room , my mom was in the next room just watching tv.And my little brother watching.I could tell my brother was scared but he would never want to talk about it.he just sat there playing with his toys keeping everything inside.

In fact i remember one day wen me and my mother noticed my brother was loosing hair in certain spots of his head.My own mother said to me it is a cause of stress.she said she used to get it wen she was younger.

Wen i was in school, my math tutor noticed my scars.She said if i needed to talk about anything to let her kno.I wanted to so much.But i was a very depressed child.I was very quiet,antisocial,and scared of myself.I thought i was a bad kid.And thought if i didint talk to anyone mabe they wont think im a bad peson.People even in my own family used to ask me wy i always had that long sad face all the time.Sometimes i didint notice i was so sad.I gues it was just a part ov me.

My own mother would ask me wy was i so antisocial.....

Eventually i grew older, My dad in and out of jail. Things always seemed better wen he was in jail.Like we had a new start to life.It was hard for a single mother feeding 2 kids and having to pay bills by herself.Trying to be strong...But she missed him.I can tell by the look in her face.

I was in the ninth grade. Wen i used to come home sometimes i would starve because my mom had just gotten this new appartment.It was a the best and biggest space weve ever had.I remember her saing, "Were gona start a new life,this appartment is for mine and my kids and i dont want him here anymore"
I didint tell her i was hungry cause i didint want her to feal bad.It was just us.my mom, brother,and me.Sometimes after school we would all be home,but each in eachothers room ..Or sometimes wen it was time to clean we used to play around with each other just having laughs,throwing watter at each other or me nd my mom would tickle my brother untill he almost peed his pants.we used to laugh for hours.my brother would pik me up on his bak.But sometimes those good times are hard to remember or sometimes they are hard to forget.

There were times wen the house was like dead scilence, it can go on all day.
Sometimes me and my mom would start arguing.I would raise my hands to my head trying to protect myself and she would think that i was raising my hands to hit her.I would sometimes say i was gona call the cops, she would make feal worthless and say "You think the cops are gona help you!!!Youre the one hitting me!You are a bad kid!!Everybody knows that!!!You worthless bitch!!!

I remember once she had gotten out of the shower,she said i took her eyeliner (witch i never did even though i often take her makeup and stuff)She started screaming and making it a big deal.And i screamed at her "Wy are u making a big deal about something so small if u want me to look for it i will but stop screaming at me!!!Im tired of going through this!!! Im tired of u always hitting me and screaming at me!!!I cried and screamed in rage.As soon as i even knew she had a glue gun on her hand. She rolled the wire arond her hand and started aming at my face with the two metal sharp objects used to stand a glue gun.I raised my hands to protect myface,noticing i was bleeding.She started hitting me even harder and faster.I was trying to get away from her but she would follow me.I tried to take the glue gun away from her.I did.

she went bak to her room to fix helself.I looked at my face in the mirror,and started crying and screaming.My face was ugly, my lips swolen and my face scratched.....I sarted yelling I hate you!!!I hate You!!look at wt youve done to my face!!!

She said, " oh, so you want more huh" she jumped up at me. Beating me like some person in thestreet would beat you.Calling me a bitch saing that i was just like my father, crying.
I tryied to get away from her going to her room.
she pushed me and i fell in the bed.her towel had fallen off earlier from hitting me.She was naked on top of me trying to break my glasses on my face.

I loved my mom so much that i never tried to raise my hands on her no matter how much she beat me to death.But there were times that i kiked her in the stomak to get her away from me.And it hurt so bad deep inside knowing i had kicked her.i would never call her anynames that would make her feal worthless.Because i nkew how it felt.She knew i was weak in that aspect so she even tryied to put my family against me.

my dad came out of jail again,things were bak to the same.exept i was entering highschool and for the first time in my life, I realy knew that nowone has an exuse to verval or fisical abuse.I knew that i had to stand up for myself and not be weak.

my dad still got away with stealing things in the house, like my brothers play station portable that my mom strugled to get him for christmas.(My mom always wanted us to have the things she never had)Or he also got away with vervaly and once fisicaly abused my mom knowing that she had arthritis.That day he left I was looking for him all over town cause i was gona crak his skull open.Eventually, like always my mother acsepted him back in the house.(I was so mad for thinking of even defending her....puting my ass on the line knowing that something could happened to me.)My dad also tryed to get away with beating me like he used to.But this time i would defend my ground.I would hit him back.I remember wen he broke my door in my room, he was beating me with punches and all the tecniques he learned in jail for self defence.My mom trying to stop it but he would push her aside to get some more hits.(As if i were threat or a man his or twise his size)He would swell me up and make me bleed,But i wouldnt let my pride down.I would keep standing and hitting and scratching as much as i can.even though a 15 yr old girls punches woulndt hurt a man in his 30s.I wanted respect.

Around that age i alredy had aboyfriend.He was everything to me.I never told him about wat happened at home.He used to make me feal happy.But my mom tryed to get in the way a few times.She wouldnt let me call or see him for days even weeks.I would bend on my knees crying telling her to please let me use the phone for atleast 5 min.She would laugh at my face,as if like she was enjopying the control she had over me.

Soon enough we kept seeing each other without my mom knowing it.after school or early in the morning before school.And eventualy i lost my virginity.I kept it to myself.I was sad because i had to keep everything to myself, but happy cause i had a friend,someone i was happy around.

I kept growing older,trying to find myself.I started smoking pot, believing in anarchy,going to the wron parties and hangin with the wrong crowd.I hated God for not being there for me and my brother and my parents.I hated life and wanted to kill myself.I didint give a shit about education because that is wat i am meant to be.My parent didint even notice who i was and wt i was doing.But i didint care because drugs numbed my pain and liquor numbed the brain....

untill one day i went to new york with some friends, started making out with some guy i just met.I was tipsy.Then later after the punk gig we smoked weed.I started fealing so numb i started shaking my teth.I didint know wat they had put in it.i felt like i didint kno were i was.I was lost in my head,everything looked blury.But atleast my friends didint take advantage of me.They were woried.They made me so soup and put me to bed.

The next day i was trying to remember wt had happened last night.It took me a while to put my pieses of memories in order.My friends told me i was triping and being loud with ppl.I realised that it couldve been worse.
It wasnt the first time i had smoked something with meth in it.last party i went to i was in a circle, we were passing it around and i started fealing realy cold,even though i was near a chimeney, i started shaking,the noise blured out,and my vision seemed verry slow wen ppl mooved but wen i moved my head or my body it seemed realy fast and shaky.

I realised it wasnt wat i wanted for my life, it wasnt wat i wanted for my future kids it wasnt wat i wanted for my brother.But i realised it too late cause i had just gotten droped out of school because of my absences.

I felt scared and alone.I wanted to start over but it was too late.I didint want to be a bum drugaddict in the street working for prostitution....

i noticed i was taking things seriously, i noticed i was growing up.But the hardest part is growing up by yourself,having no family member notice it so they can chear you on.

well now things have decreased a bit at home.We have our realy good times and hard laughs, we have tried to strat a new ife.My parents have also tryied hard enough to change the enviorment...but even though i am not a very religious person ,i always tell God to grant me cerenity to accept the things i connot change,courage to change the things we can, and wisdom to know the difference..im grown enough to kno that i have learned the hard way.Now im taking my ged and so exited that im going to be a hair stylist and cosmetologist.I moved out with my boyfriend and things are a little better exept that My dad is still adicted to drugs, my mom nd brother are still a victim of verval abuse and stress.My brother is having a hard time in school,and is hangin out with ppl older than him in the street.He also has a hard time comunicating with ppl even me.I still love my parents to death, and especialy my little brother.

Today i am trying to become a better person because of my brother.I kno that he looks up to me.

omg my mom called me a slut today also she said i can go to this thing now she isnt taking me she ruins my life urggggg she tells my dad everything like i did it and then i get yelled at i hate it she does it all the time

It sucks thats all people can say

im always bieng verbally abused so i find it funny that people get so offended when called names because now almost like an exticnt i ignore it

i cant remeber the last time i was actually offended by verbal abuse

infact i dont think verbal abuse is wrong because if by the time your a teenager your used to it then it makes you a much stronger person and it has probably saved me a lot of hassle and upset over the years

you also find that people who dish out verbal abuse are insecure themselves so verbally abuse them back and they will soon disappear

it happens to alot of us the only advise i can give is hold on and dont let it get to you

Hi my name is Marlene I am 38 I have been verbally abused as a child and my father used to physical abuse me. I grew feeling terrible and sometimes thought why was I even born to them but I realized at any early age you are special and yes they are your parents but every living creature on this earth deserves love and respect my father changed my mother did not she stil is verbally abusive I love her but I keep my distance and I feel better when I do because the way I see life is so hard as it easy god does not look kind to having that behavior and continuing my advice to anyone if you love yourself and every human should then make the most of their lifes they are your parents and you can't change that but accepting such awful behavior is not necessary

Hi Jake,

My name is Catherine. I am 24. I just read your e-mail and was worried about you.

How are things at home now? I can only imagine how difficult it would be to be in your shoes right now but some day you will move on and you can't feel guilty about looking forward to that day.

Remember your parent/grandparent is just one person and you by chance happened to get them.

I'm always on email when in work so please feel free to e-mail me and I will always listen and try to help!

All the best,Catherine

quote:

Originally posted by Hill_basketballplaya:
HI My name Is Jake and I am 14 and almost 15, now i know people will probably say your just 14 but, I am Verbally And Physically Abused, I desperately want the emancipation Law and cannot wait until im 16, my Dad just passed away and even when he was alive my Mom still does, but she calls me whore, cock sucker, bitch, bitch from hell, fucker, and she wants me to die, and so on, and she also hits and throws things at me for no reason i cannot stay the night at a friends or have them come here, i cannot talk on my phone unless im sneaking it, I sometimes think about how most 15 year olds can just smoke and drink and have a perfect life, im a good kid i also watch my baby sister who is 7 months old and have started that since she was not even a month old, I cannot take it anymore I am homeschooled and want to go to school but i cannot and i have to stay home and watch my sisters monday, tuesday, wednesday, and sometime friday, i ask for just one day off and if i ask that my grandpa yells and says i have to go get a new family then, i do not want to leave because i am afraid and i do not want to leave, I am just one bg mess, I have thought about suicide and have tried it many times but i just want to live but hate my life, please help me I am in search of advice Please help I need help.
Thank you,
Jake

my mom verbal abuses me daily, telling me i am worthless i am fat i was mistake she says she doesn't love me that she wishs i would just live with someone with else. I am now anorexic because of my mom's verbal abuse about how fat i am. Which i am not fat at all, but i thought if i am EXTREMLY skinny then she can't call me fat. She makes me feel like i am nothing everyday. She has said all these things so much that i now believe them.
Is everyone's parents like this?

HI My name Is Jake and I am 14 and almost 15, now i know people will probably say your just 14 but, I am Verbally And Physically Abused, I desperately want the emancipation Law and cannot wait until im 16, my Dad just passed away and even when he was alive my Mom still does, but she calls me whore, cock sucker, bitch, bitch from hell, fucker, and she wants me to die, and so on, and she also hits and throws things at me for no reason i cannot stay the night at a friends or have them come here, i cannot talk on my phone unless im sneaking it, I sometimes think about how most 15 year olds can just smoke and drink and have a perfect life, im a good kid i also watch my baby sister who is 7 months old and have started that since she was not even a month old, I cannot take it anymore I am homeschooled and want to go to school but i cannot and i have to stay home and watch my sisters monday, tuesday, wednesday, and sometime friday, i ask for just one day off and if i ask that my grandpa yells and says i have to go get a new family then, i do not want to leave because i am afraid and i do not want to leave, I am just one bg mess, I have thought about suicide and have tried it many times but i just want to live but hate my life, please help me I am in search of advice Please help I need help.
Thank you,
Jake

I fought with my parents all the way until i got moved out. My dad kicked me out of the house because i dropped a corrispondance course, my mom stopped talking to me for 3 days because i got a B in french ect. When i moved out, my mom told me that my graduation was going to be like a funural, except that it would have been better if someone had died. we fought all the time, my dad actually seriously threatend to kick me out forever when i was 15, because i sighed, when he asked me to make coffee. i use to just sit in my room all day and not go anywhere. but i didn't have a lock, so my mom would come in and yell at me there too.

it sucks being young. my suggestion is find someone you can talk to. and if you can, move out, because being verbally abused is not right, at all. and once you move out, don't carry what your parents said with you what they say is intirely untrue. and if they say you're going to be unsuccessful. the best thing to do is to prove them wrong. nobody has the right to tear you down.