I know how you feel, my mom was driving me crazy being overprotective! I even went so far as to run away once, cause I was so pissed off. Ironically, it was my Aunt who found me, and before she brought me home, she explained something to me that I never thought of before. She said that every parents worst fear is that their child will at the worst die, at the least, end up hurt. Everything they do that seems to hold us back is based on this fear. OK, dating usually doesn't result in death, with a few exceptions: a girl I went to school with since 2nd grade wanted to go out one night with her boyfriend. Her mom said "no". She snuck out of her bedroom window, and met her boyfriend later that night. While they were driving around, a drunk driver hit their car head on, and she was decapitated. An extreme example, I'll admit, but it happened, and I remember my friend every time my mom won't let me go out! Probably your mom understands what will inevitably take place between a boy and a girl who are attracted to one another, and she wants to protect you. Everyone deals with their fears differently. Some parents allow their kids too much freedom, others too little. Just know your mom loves you, that's why she is strict.

wow you really want to win this argument dont you? Sorry i havent logged in awhile so forgot about this anyays. And yes me also. I get to go where i want with friends do stuff yea. But you know what i got into some deep shit once from not listening and i swore never again. So you know im sorry if you havent gone through what i went through and dont really understand why listening to your parents is a good thing. And if i get a computer a iPod a new stereo all from listening wow i might just stick to it.

hehehh. no, vegetarianwithacause, i'm very much allowed to go out anywhere and hang out with my friends and and have a boyfriend. my mum was just 14 when she started seriously dating; i waited 'til i was 17! even though it didn't matter to her or to my dad how old i was.

rape, abuse, peer pressure are beyond our control, but they can be avoided, like by what you assumed was happening to me: caging their kids. but most parents know it's absurd to keep their kids locked in forever, so they allow them their freedom, but all the while advising their kids, watching out for them, bringing them up with the right values. that's parental responsibility.

and no, parents are not in control of their children's sexual activity. look at how many kids lie and fall into worse trouble. and besides, kids don't always go out and get a boyfriend or girlfriend to experiment with their sexuality. most people i know hook up with friends or random strangers, and you and i know this happens more than often. if i were a parent, i'd rather my child be in a relationship with someone she or she cares about than in a random, impulsive sexual moment.

and no, what your parents don't always go, i'm sorry if that's how it is in your household. this doesn't necessarily mean that kids need to rebel, throw tantrums, lie, sneak out to have their way. sometimes all you need is to sit down and talk to your parents. let them know what you are doing, what you feel like, build an open relationship with them. that way, they don't feel you're too immature or too naiive to be given a very strict list of rules to follow. they're aware of who you're growing up to be, how you feel and this leads to trust. it may not work immediately, but it will eventually. it's worked for me, and many people i know. and i come from a far more conservative society than many people here on the boards.

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Originally posted by Paisley:

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and paisley be honest it really wont make you successful when you pregnant.

of course it won't make you successful. but not entirely unsuccessful.

so, having a boyfriend before your parents allow you to date means you're eventually going to get pregnant? ha. well, if parents stop their kids from dating to avoid teenage pregnancies, they might as well stop kids from going out to friends' places, to any parties or concerts, 'cos i mean, their kids could just get raped, abused or influenced into doing drugs, and oh! they just won't end up being successful in high school. tsk tsk.

My goodness paisley do your parents keep you locked in a cage or something. Have you not realized there are some things beyond your control. Being raped and abused or being offered drugs is beyond your control. But choosing the age you daughter or son becomes sexually active. Thats uh in your control. but w/e you kids can rant hold your breath till you pass out..what your parents says...goes.

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and paisley be honest it really wont make you successful when you pregnant.

of course it won't make you successful. but not entirely unsuccessful.

so, having a boyfriend before your parents allow you to date means you're eventually going to get pregnant? ha. well, if parents stop their kids from dating to avoid teenage pregnancies, they might as well stop kids from going out to friends' places, to any parties or concerts, 'cos i mean, their kids could just get raped, abused or influenced into doing drugs, and oh! they just won't end up being successful in high school. tsk tsk.

It depends on the mentality of parents actually. My parents only allow me to date at 18 years old, whereas some of my friends' parents have allowed them to start dating at early age like 15. Nevertheless, most teens today ignore what our parents say. They date secretly without the knowledge of parents or guardians.

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Originally posted by girlinlalaland:
You guys, its simple. Look at the facts. 96% of teens who start dating in eight grade and lower have sex before senior year. Only 10% of teens who start at 16 and older have sex by then.

Thank you....thank you. and paisley be honest it really wont make you successful when you pregnant. I've talked to 13 year olds who got pregnat says it ruined their life and should have listen to their parents..I have and its bad taking care of a kid and also hard at that age.

You guys, its simple. Look at the facts. 96% of teens who start dating in eight grade and lower have sex before senior year. Only 10% of teens who start at 16 and older have sex by then.

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Yea when I turn 16 i care more about suceeding in highschool I honestly dont care about guys.

how would having a boyfriend make you not successful in high school? if a person can't balance his/her or life between personal relationships, school and other extra-curricular activities, then he or she would have to be very inflexible. also, i don't think it's reasonable for parents to not let their kids date 'til they're 16 because they'd mess up in school. what other reasons would parents have to not let them date 'til they're so old?i think parents should realize, that in the times we live in now, it's natural for their teenage children to be attracted to boys, or girls their own age. and isn't easy to keep crushing on someone forever. this could lead to most kids lying or going behind their parents' backs because they're still young and tend to be impulsive. and if it's the sex they're worried about, i think it's upto the parents to instill the right values in their kids and watch out for them constantly instead of telling them they can't date 'til they're 16 so they won't have to worry about it. i don't see what's so wrong in letting your kids experiment with love and relationships at a young age. it's all a part of a long, learning experience.

I listen to my parents and If they don't want me to date till I'm sixteen I have no problem against it. What am I going to do cry about it till I get my way. Uhh no. They have REASONS why. Go ask em...I did and its a perfect reason. Yea when I turn 16 i care more about suceeding in highschool I honestly dont care about guys. Oh yea and getting a car. Im a live in the moment but care about the future type of person.

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What is truly unnatural is establishing rules on these things like you can't go out with anyone untill you're 16.

What's so unnatural about mammals telling their offspring what to do, especially primates? What's so bad about a teenager with discipline and respect for their parents' rules? And you throw that word around too much.

... my mum hates my boyfriend. but she said she's 'letting' me date him until the end of august when i'll be done with my exams. isn't that rather f***ed up?!

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If people avoided kissing for fear of mono... ugh, I don't want to imagine it.

well our girl's swim team would probaly be able to last a whole season if they did ^_^

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but if you live in a more rural area it's comprehensible that a car is viewed as a need.

yeah in the suburbs it's almost even worse because there's a crap load of houses here and... well nothing else so going other places is required to date and you gotta go other places and you need a vehicle to get there.

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hey! mono isn't that bad.... I'm going to shut up now

Ok, I know mono sucks but it's not like wanting to avoid STD's through abstinence. If people avoided kissing for fear of mono... ugh, I don't want to imagine it.

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So having an age limit (this is all as it applies to the states mind, europe with it's clubs for 18s and under and incredible public transit is a horse of a different color) is really not much of a problem and less of a big deal than angst ridden proto-teens make it out to be

The necessity of a car does obey to a completely different mentality, I have to admit. If you live in a big city you can probably rely more on public transportation but if you live in a more rural area it's comprehensible that a car is viewed as a need.

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From catching mononucleosis

hey! mono isn't that bad.... I'm going to shut up now

In the end dating isn't really a practical till your 16 and have a car or can borrow one (yes I know you can get rides from your parents, but it is impossible to be cool when your mother is driving the car.) So having an age limit (this is all as it applies to the states mind, europe with it's clubs for 18s and under and incredible public transit is a horse of a different color) is really not much of a problem and less of a big deal than angst ridden proto-teens make it out to be

Let you date?!
It almost sounds like you where asking your parents to buy you alcohol and cigarettes ffs...

I'm uncapable of understanding why Let is even used here. It is natural to go out with people, either to see a movie or get dinner, or just to get off in a park, there's nothng wrong with it and teens should do it whenever they feel like it. What is truly unnatural is establishing rules on these things like you can't go out with anyone untill you're 16.

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Maybe parents let other kids start at a younger age is because... it bulds a good social life?
I don't know.

Some parents let kids start at a younger age because they aren't over protective and paranoid.

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they are only trying to keep us safe even if we feel there is no reason for them to worrie they still do because they know what it is like to be our age and dont want us to have to suffer or hurt even if it is unevidable they are there to keep us safe to the best of their ability!!

Safe from what? From having a first glimpse of selfish adolescent pseudo-love? From catching mononucleosis? As long as you're not 12 and seeing a 16 year old you're fine. There's nothing dangerous about kissing some kid that sits in teh row behind you in math class...
Learning to handle relationships is one of those things that can't be taught. It's best to let kids experiment things themselves, that way they learn from their own errors and become more mature and conscious people in the process. A parent restricting one's personal life based on fear and paranoia only manages to stunt that persons growth as an individual.

My mom and dad never supported dating but that didnt stop me. But now with a little bit more knowledge ive decided on my own to stop until after high school. Yeah i know most of you are all for dating and i am not saying its bad but just hear me out on this. This year my sister was a senior in high school. She plays basketball andd is really good made all state team had her jersey retired and everything. Her grades were not that great but they were enough to get into college. She had been dating a guy that was a state track and cross country runner. They had been dating for about a year and a half then he broke up with her. She was devastated she didnt know what she was going to do now. Half way into her Senior year of H.S. she didnt talk to anyother seniors. Just the basketball team and the coaches. At prom I was her escort and I was one of three guys that danced with her. And I was one of three guys that let saw her crying as her ex-boyfriend danced with another girl. I was the one that saw her and decided that I would not let that happen to any girl that I ever dated. And what better precaution than to wait until all the break ups of leaving for college dont effect you. Looking back at this it seems ive written an essay but i mean every word of it. Think about dating first.

My mom said I could date when I am 16 but she has changed her rules to 15 which is cool but they are only trying to keep us safe even if we feel there is no reason for them to worrie they still do because they know what it is like to be our age and dont want us to have to suffer or hurt even if it is unevidable they are there to keep us safe to the best of their ability!!

My parents didn't care when I started dating.
Maybe parents let other kids start at a younger age is because... it bulds a good social life?
I don't know.

My mom has always trusted me completely...it's the adolescent boys she doesn't trust. Realistically though, I think if there was a nice guy I wanted to date and I talked to her about it, she would have let me break the "you can't date until you're 16" rule.

I'm 19 now and, wow, I survived the 16 year time limit. Now my orthodontist doesn't want me dating until I'm 35 and my sister says I can't date until I'm married...but to them.