Last April, I was hospitalized for an eating disorder and depression, cutting, etc. My mom made me stop taking my antidepressants about a month ago, because she doesn't thing I should need it for more than a year.
Not long after, she told me that she is embarrassed by my weight and that I need to take care of myself. She told me that I wouldn't be able to be a teacher because all I would be able to show children is how to sit and eat all day.
I got really upset, obviously, and told her that what she said makes me really want to cut. She rolled her eyes and told me not to try making her feel bad because she doesn't.
Because I'm off my medicine, I can't sleep at night AT ALL. I go days without sleep, and sometimes can take an hour nap every now and then. I'm exhausted all the time. I hate my body more than ever, and taking a shower makes me really angry. I hate getting dressed and ready for the day because I feel like no matter what I do, I'll look awful. I can't remember a moment when I wasn't holding back tears. I'm completely miserable.
My dad doesn't understand this problem, and wouldn't even if I explained it to him. My mom is always around and it makes me so angry. I have one more year before I can move out, but she is constantly making me feel horrible about myself. I don't want to say that I hate her..but I REALLY REALLY can't stand her at all..
Any advise?
C*