Alright here's the deal:

About 6 months ago, I started dropping hints to my mom, a diehard catholic, that I wasn't really interested in church. I don't believe some of the catholic teachings, and I think weekly Masses are a waste of time because I always end up daydreaming and getting nothing out of them. At first I just started closing my eyes, yawning, etc, but she didn't get it. So one week I skipped church when I was on my own and my parents found out. They were furious.

After I tried explaining that church was boring and that I think I would be better served by going less often so that it would be a more important occasion, they became even more angry. My mom told me that I would go to hell if I didn't go to church every Sunday.

The more I think about it, the less credibility I give the catholic church and my mom's beliefs.

I asked her what she thought about my girlfriend who had been raised Catholic, but decided to change religion, something I was hinting at doing myself. Before posing this question, my mom loved her, but she had no answer to my question.

They usually try to tell me that I'm irresponsible and that's why they're so mad. But I'm an all A student, an Eagle Scout, and I have many extra-curricular activities and a job.

I'm 18 and I've told them if they expect me to act like an adult, they should treat me like an adult and let me make my own decisions. They say that God is the most important part of life and that I must, under no circumstances, stop attending weekly Mass. Now everytime I don't go to church, they ground me from the car for a week, no questions asked.

Does anyone have any advice about what to say or do to help convince them that God is different for every person.

My mom tried to do what your mom is doing to you. Luckily, my dad is anglican, so he managed to get her off my (and my sister's) case, so we no longer have to waste our time in church every week.

Despite the fact that you're 18, unless you plan on supporting yourself, I suggest putting up with it and going to church.

I understand; you're 18, you can do or not do whatever you want. However, you still live with your parents, and like another person said, they can kick you out. And if your mom believes you're hellbound if you don't go to church, is it really that big of a stretch that she might throw you out?

Try talking to her one more time, then give it a rest. Either put up with it or move out; those are really your only 2 options.

Um. No. Just quit church (they can't be forcing you, 18 or not) and show them that god is working through you in a different manner.

i go to church sometimes (only when my parents make me) and i dont lisen to what they say anyway....i use to go to a private school where eveyone is hardcore cristain. i have belived in God my whole life...but now i am starting to dout myself. i am really confused. some of it i belive and some of it sounds fake. right now i am kinda in the middle....

My mom stopped forcing me when I got kicked out of sunday school. I still go to church on occassion, but not that often. Usually only if I am up north with my relatives. I understand the die-hard catholic thing, my whole mom's side of the family is. Just kinda wait it out and get out of there prolly. Or shock your parents into submission. Depends which you're going for.

quote:

I'M ON A RAMPAGE! RAMPAGE! RAMPAGE! RAMPAGE! RAMPAGE!

You're on a rampage?

Hello Homestarrunner rip-off.

im forced to too! but for now im not saying anthing. she also makes me serve mass!! but at least im doing something instead of just sitting there like a bump on a log.

What do you want to do? Be intolerant, if your parents don't tolerate you, that's their problem. Now I'm no cathloic, so what can I say? The Bible might say to pray for the saints, it says pray FOR the saints, not TO them. And the saints the Bible talks about are probably the ones alive and preaching the gospel. I'M ON A RAMPAGE! RAMPAGE! RAMPAGE! RAMPAGE! RAMPAGE! OK, rampage over, where was I? Have you concidered asking your girlfriend to back you up? Like has been said : find a new curch and/or change your relgion. Don't listen to that pack of lies that if you don't go to curch every sunday you will go to hell, that's a puddle of dog poo. The olny way you'll go to hell is if you don't ask Jesus Christ to come into your life. ( I cant believe that my stepbros and stepsis think hell is a bad word. I mean C'mon! It's a place!

isnt it kinda funny how some churches have gone totally wired! some are just so lame and boring and others well their not even worth ur intrest! wasnt church supposed to be happy?? for me either it has to be really religious so i get intrested or enjoying and not monotone__

Well, there's honestly not much you can do.

My story is also similar, but much easier than yours. Basically, I was unhappy with the church that I was currently attending. I talked to my parents, and they weren't too happy about the church either. So we went church-hunting for a couple of months and finally settled in at the Episcopalian church. It's an awesome church, so that's good.

I agree that God is important in affecting one's worldviews, but all your parents are doing is aleinating you from God. Why don't you try telling them that?

I would say that their is nothing that you can do at this point, considering the fact that you are living with your parents. If your 18 you can legally do pretty much anything you want, but they don't have to support you because you are considered an adult. That is why I would say put up with it until you leave them, and then do whatever it is that you want to do after leaving their strict atmosphere.

I have a similar story. I was raised Catholic (actually attended a Catholic school for seven years) and this fall I just found that I thought the Catholic church was crap. I still go (not on my own volition), but it makes my parents content and I just make that one hour sacrifice a week to go with them. I've talked to my mom about it, but to no avail. So, I just don't talk to her about religion and I space off during church... but then again I'm 2 years younger than you... once I hit 18 and college, I won't go to the Catholic church anymore...

i go to a Catholic school and my religion teacher accepts if u want to believe or not, but gives u alternatives to finding a way to believe. she said that as catholics we need to deal with the bad past of the church and rely on faith to move it forward. the only thing i can say is to tell your parents that you are trying to find God and wish to explore the world for what it is and reflect on it i guess in church. I would rather believe in God and find out there isnt one that not believe and find out that there is.

im going to say screw god.......go for the 666 and if you are not into that just become agnostic, you dont do religion but you dont persecute those who do. i got out of religion by making a deal with my parents, i only go to the holy days of obligation, and even then i still manage to sleep.....now i am not a devil worshiper but dear god i love death and morbidity and what not, all those satanic bands are kick a**....your 18...you legally dont have to listen to a d*** thing they say.......make your own choices "mommy wow your a big boy know" learn to be indepentant......

My sister went through the same thing you're going through...my parents dragged her to church even though she never felt it was the right place for her. Now, she's 18 and she found a different church, which she likes alot. Maybe you could look into different churches or religions, more laid back ones, like clpo suggested. I'm a Baptist, and my church is very laid back. Try to explain to your parents that a religion isn't right for everyone, and you think you would have a better relationship with God in another church. (I'm assuming you still want to believe in God)
That's the best I could think of at this moment, I hope it helps

i was in your shoes a while ago. but as i am only 15, i was forced to make a deal w/the tyrants that are my parents [lol]. i go to church on major holidays but no other times. when i'm eighteen, i'm free to do what i want.

Just think of Mass as a great big insomniac. Stay up all night long beforehand, and then you can sleep it off during Mass. In fact, nobody will hear you snoring because of the droning voice of the priest! Brilliant!

Seriously, if you're 18, you should be able to make your own decisions, especially regarding church. But try this, find another church, try Presbyterian or Methodist, I think they're pretty laid-back, and see if you like it. If you do, try your parents again and see if you're not destined for Hell by going to church, even if it isn't Catholic.

In a situation like this, I suspect there's really nothing you can do. If your parents honestly believe that if you don't go to Mass every week you're hellbound, little is going to change their minds.

If they're willing to be remotely open-minded about it, the best advice I can offer is to articulate very clearly that you're doing this not to be a rebel, but to follow your own spiritual beliefs. I suspect you've already done this.

Challenging their logic (or lack thereof) is bound to lead to fights, but to a guy like me it sounds almost irresistible in your position. That question about your girlfriend was a completely valid one. If you're going further down that road, ask them about non-Catholic humanitarians and other non-Catholic upstanding members of society. Ask them if they genuinely belief each and every one of them is going to hell.

In all honesty, though, I'd put your odds at about 1 in 100 of making any headway on this situation. If you can't convince them to be more open-minded, evaluate your options: is going to Mass really that unbearable? Is there a way you could skip it without being caught? How much more money do you need before you can buy your own apartment and force your parents into an equally loving but less domineering position?

Best of luck to you, Jophus, and I'm truly sorry for your situation. As you might be able to infer from my avatar, I'd go crazy if I was in your shoes.

I'm not sure aboiut this, but maybe you're just at the wrong church. I mean, wah tyour mom said about going to hell if you don't attend mass, I don't think I've ever heard the word hell outside of the bible in my church. What i'm trying to say is that not all Catholics necessarily believe what your mom does.

Jophus:
Until you move out from your parent's house you are obliged to do what they ask you. While you may disagree with the catholic church (as I do), there is no harm in attending mass once a week, look at it as a social thing and something you do for your parents out of respect for them.
If they are devout catholics, nothing you say or do is going to change them or make them think differently about you going, so why bother agitating them?
I got into this same fight with my grandfather in California, I told him what good was going to mass if you don't act like a christian outside of church (my grandfather is a vocal racist) and all it did was put a large rift between us.
On a bonus note you may get to meet some cool catholic girls before or after mass, keep an eye on them as they are often much wilder than they would appear in church. If that's not motivation to go then I don't know what is.