They will, if you know what you are going to say. They will if only you had imparted discipline to them first. I know many families who are "Christian" and having sex has never happened to any of their children.
Good then I won't have to buy them anything if they will just listen to me. However, if they really did listen to me then they won't have never did that in the first place. I just want them to be safe because they might not listen to me
quote:
None of the contraceptives available today IS safe. It can be effective for a while but you can't guarantee it is TOTALLY safe. You don't know whether your daughter or son is allergic to condoms or what. Before your children REACHES their teens, you should have imparted to them about abstinence. I have a friend from the USA and of course, he thinks about sex too and he masturbates but since his parents told him that it is better to wait for marriage, he didn't do it.
I'm going to talk to my kids about that. I will tell them how I feel that they should wait but even if I talk to them, that doesn't mind that they might not do it. At least I want them to know that they could come to me with anything and I am going to keep them safe. About them being allergic to condoms, that's why they are going to the doctor and get tested every time they have sex.
quote:
one contributing factor of maturity is discipline in their home. If you are the kind of mother that will just let them go just because you can't do anything about it, you won't be successful at all. Maturity is also gained through the influences around us.
Oh, I will discipline them but that doesn't mean they will listen.
quote:
You won't have to use force on them if you have disciplined them long before you caught them having sex.
If that's NATURE, why do you abort your babies when you get pregnant?
Well, I've never had an abortion and I've never been pregnant. So don't ask me. Besides, anyone with a brain knows abortions are not natural. But it is natural to be have sexual feelings and urges and to act on them. I agree that is stupid to destroy the product of those urges, which is why I'm getting my tubes tied when I'm older to prevent any possibility of fertilization.
quote:
That's WHAT its supposed to happen.
Well, yeah. But orgasms are supposed to happen as well, and they are the reason why people have so much sex.
quote:
When you have sex, you get pregnant.
Not if my tubes are tied. And if my partner is wearing a condom.
quote:
So, that means its ok for you that your daughter is having sex?
I was taught all my life until age 12 to stay a virgin until marriage by my mother. I was taught by our church that pre-marital sex and masturbation was wrong. But I didn't listen. That's basically what Apology is trying to say. She undersatands that teens are and always will be curious and she'd prefer her child to know what she's getting herself into, rather than experimenting without any knowledge whatsoever. You could teach your daughter to be the next Mother Theresa, but once she hits puberty and starts noticing boys, she'll be less likely to listen to you.
No, it's not okay with me but do you think they will actually listen to me?
They will, if you know what you are going to say. They will if only you had imparted discipline to them first. I know many families who are "Christian" and having sex has never happened to any of their children.
quote:
At least, I will keep them safe.
None of the contraceptives available today IS safe. It can be effective for a while but you can't guarantee it is TOTALLY safe. You don't know whether your daughter or son is allergic to condoms or what. Before your children REACHES their teens, you should have imparted to them about abstinence. I have a friend from the USA and of course, he thinks about sex too and he masturbates but since his parents told him that it is better to wait for marriage, he didn't do it.
quote:
Come on, if they are mature enough to make the choice whether or not to have sex then I have to let them go.
one contributing factor of maturity is discipline in their home. If you are the kind of mother that will just let them go just because you can't do anything about it, you won't be successful at all. Maturity is also gained through the influences around us.
quote:
That's when they make their own choices, I can't force it on them
You won't have to use force on them if you have disciplined them long before you caught them having sex.
So, that means its ok for you that your daughter is having sex?
No, it's not okay with me but do you think they will actually listen to me? At least, I will keep them safe. However, that's only when I see that they are mature enough to take the responsibility of sex. If they are not mature enough, I will not tolerate the behavior of them wanting to have sex.
Why do you take me out of context? You just quoted me on that and I said more than that,you and I both know that.
quote:
If you said this is a "Christian" home, why allow them to have sex in their teens in the first place? I thought most Christians practice the "wait for marriage" concept. But I guess you got it wrong. And if you are saying you want them to do the deed somewhere else, are you trying to say you want them to ruin their reputation or to be called cheap by going to cheap motels and having sex in a car or something? Your point about "Christian" home backfired when you said that you allow them to have sex somewhere else. That still doesn't make it Christian.
Come on, if they are mature enough to make the choice whether or not to have sex then I have to let them go. I can't force anything on them. Also, if they are mature, I don't think that they will do it in a car because then I will see that they aren't mature doing it in a car so they can get caught by the cops. I will decide whether or not thet are mature or immature by our long talk. If I see they are immature, I won't be letting them go out anywhere until they are 18. That's when they make their own choices, I can't force it on them. All I can tell them is my views and the knowledge I have then hope they make the right choice.
quote:
And your means of grounding them won't work since you already said they can have sex elsewhere.
I meant that punishment for the immature child, not the mature one. For the mature child, I have a different punishment for them.
I will get them a personal doctor that explains these things to them and lets them get tested whenever they do have sex with someone.
So, that means its ok for you that your daughter is having sex?
quote:
I will tell them that because this is a "Christian home" and I'm the boss of it, I DO NOT want them having sex in their room. Go somewhere else with that, somewhere safe. Also, I will ground them for having sex in their room.
If you said this is a "Christian" home, why allow them to have sex in their teens in the first place? I thought most Christians practice the "wait for marriage" concept. But I guess you got it wrong. And if you are saying you want them to do the deed somewhere else, are you trying to say you want them to ruin their reputation or to be called cheap by going to cheap motels and having sex in a car or something? Your point about "Christian" home backfired when you said that you allow them to have sex somewhere else. That still doesn't make it Christian.
And your means of grounding them won't work since you already said they can have sex elsewhere.
----->>>You know, in a Christian home, these things WON'T happen. If it did, only a few percent of teens in Christian homes will have sex. I am a Christian (Catholic to be exact) and me and my sis are both virgins. It's NOT about whether you are a Christian or not, that's not really the point. The point is discipline.
It's not right or wrong. It's nature. Humans are not above nature. And we never will be.
If that's NATURE, why do you abort your babies when you get pregnant? THAT'S still nature. That's WHAT its supposed to happen. When you have sex, you get pregnant. Don't you think THIS issue on sex is RELATED to anything about "pregnancy" and "abortion"?
Maybe it's a little too late to say this but if I found someone in my child's bed, I would kick him/her out too and have a long talk with my child. I would try to figure out how mature they are in having sex. If they seem to be really mature, knowing what they are getting into and deciding that they don't want to wait until marriage then I will go with them to buy birth control. I will get them a personal doctor that explains these things to them and lets them get tested whenever they do have sex with someone. I will tell them that because this is a "Christian home" and I'm the boss of it, I DO NOT want them having sex in their room. Go somewhere else with that, somewhere safe. Also, I will ground them for having sex in their room.
Maybe after the long talk, the Christian Home remark, the grounding, the talk with the doctor, and the hassle of going to the doctor to get tested will make them lazy and not have sex.
If they do it any ways, at least they won't be doing it in my house and I helped them the best way I can. I can't force them to do anything.
If they are not mature and just want sex because of some stupid reason and don't even know the consequences of having sex, then I will have to lock them up in their room forever. I wish it was that easy! Why is it called abuse to lock your children up? My brother used to do that all the time, lock me up in the bathroom for hours and I turned out fine! "Starts talking to herself" Okay, I will have to ground them and not allow them to go out because they are too immature to even go out. Hey, going out isn't like something I have to give them, it's a gift from me and that gift will be taken away if they are too immature to take care of themselves that forces me to take care of them.
But guys, my point is that if it's already happening, (i.e. there was already a guy in her bed), then it's probably not gonna stop just from a long talk, or from forbidding them to see their partner (which would most likely make the situation worse, as telling a teenager not to do something is just about the best way to make sure they do it). I'm all for educating them with morals and such, but the way you raise a kid only goes so far, and then their judgement takes over.
And then what? If they are gonna be sexually active, wouldn't you rather they were safe?
Oh, well, I was keeping my kid under lock and key. Shove food through a hole in the door.
Ah, kiddin'. I'd still kick the boyfriend out and have a long talk with the kid.
I'd say...a good amount of tolerance, ACCEPTANCE which I know is difficult for those who can't progress, and discipline. The kid's gotta know you're here for 'em, but that you're a parent first and foremost.
Actually, ever since the Victorian age, teenage sexual activity has been pretty commonplace. It was a huge part of culture in the 20s, for example, and the 60s, as it is today. It would be pretty foolish of you to just ignore that, and assume that nothing is going on with your child. Unless you keep them under lock and key or actually talk to them about it, you have no idea what kind of decisions they are making.
Ok, so lets consider that it has gone on a long way before this. But does that mean that just because sexual activity among teens has gone a long way mean that it is a RIGHT thing to do?
I didn't say we should keep them under lock and key. What I am driving at is discipline, and not too much of tolerance.
that would mean you are just tolerating her actions instead of telling her what the right way is. You know, I am also aware that the people from generations before us have controlled themselves, so why can't us?
Actually, ever since the Victorian age, teenage sexual activity has been pretty commonplace. It was a huge part of culture in the 20s, for example, and the 60s, as it is today. It would be pretty foolish of you to just ignore that, and assume that nothing is going on with your child. Unless you keep them under lock and key or actually talk to them about it, you have no idea what kind of decisions they are making.
As an interesting sidenote, teens of the fifties got married (or engaged) ridiculously early. Would you rather your daughter did that?
Honestly, if I caught my teenager in bed with her boyfriend I'd kick his *** out and ground her until she was 30. That's a big violation of trust, regardless of whether they were having sex or doing calculus homework.
I agree. It's not only risky, it is embarrassing too.
Me? I'd give my daughter birth control if I caught her in bed with a boy. I'm aware that teenage sexuality is most likely going to happen, and I'd rather my kid be supported and protected through that time then not.
that would mean you are just tolerating her actions instead of telling her what the right way is. You know, I am also aware that the people from generations before us have controlled themselves, so why can't us?
She'll just make different mistakes than her mom made. Every parents makes mistakes. There is no perfect way to parent.
Me? I'd give my daughter birth control if I caught her in bed with a boy. I'm aware that teenage sexuality is most likely going to happen, and I'd rather my kid be supported and protected through that time then not.
Very true. It can go one of two ways: She becomes a better parent than she believes her mom is, and her child is better off. Or, her mom IS a great mom and she's just a spoiled brat and she'll be a terrible mother.
Honestly, if I caught my teenager in bed with her boyfriend I'd kick his *** out and ground her until she was 30. That's a big violation of trust, regardless of whether they were having sex or doing calculus homework.
So, I guess this thread won't go the way of Old Yeller. Oh well.
Topics 
