whenever my parents tell me why I can't have certain freedoms(like taking my bike to the dairy a mile or two away with my friends) thay say that they 'trust me but don't trust the world" as in predators, etc. Isn't part of trusting your kid trusting how they will react to the world?

quote:

Originally posted by freespiritts:
Isn't part of trusting your kid trusting how they will react to the world?

It is but that isn't going to keep your parents from wanting to keep you safe. Just know that their intentions are genuwine but if that's still not good enough, than go to them with your concerns and talk to them. Talk to them as an adult and work out a plan that both sides are happy with.

ok, I have a bit of a problem. My parents are mad a me because I don't talk to them any more. But anything I do, think, feel, or say is either wrong or not good enough, So I'm kind'a shutting down when I'm at home or around them. Im 120 lbs. and 5'3" an my dad told me I was chunky and needed to loose weight. Yeah i know it wouldnt hurt to loose a few pounds but come on. Earlier my mom told me I am a defective child. I don't know what else to do. I turn 18 in less than three months but I can't last til then. It gets harder an harder to come home every day. I have two best friends an lots of others. I've never gotten wierd peircings, tattos, run away, died my hair. Nothing! I don't know what I've done wrong and have absolutly NOOO clue what to do now! I have to call when I get some where and call when I'm leaving. My parents done trust me an yet I've never done anything to make them not trust me. I know I'm not perfect in their eyes I just wish they'd stop reminding me that


got any advice???
Sarah

My mother gives me freedom. Our bond is like we're sisters or something. Thats why i think i have the freedom that i have. Im able to tell her almost everythin b/c she will always understand and have some advice 4 me. I also get to go almost anywhere i want.
Have a very specific talk to your parents about why they dont trust you as much as u think they should. Maybe you can work something out.

I think the only ways you aren't given freedoms are (a) You're just too young to have them (and there are some freedoms where this is possible) (b) You've done something to betray your parents trust already or you've gone against them in some way that you don't deserve the freedoms (c) Your parents are just super-conservative, possibly even fundamentalist Christians, who feel the best way to protect you is to keep you from experiencing the real world. In which case, just wait until you're 18.

The only reason that I really think isn't fair is {c} and, hey, that's just something you have to learn to live with.

My parents give me many freedoms.

My mom and dad trust me. Probably too much. But they trust me and I enjoy it. They don't trust the world either which is why they do deny a few freedoms to me (like driving to the city by myself). But for the most part, they trust me and my judgement and how I react to the world so I can pretty much do anything that I would want to do---because I don't really want to do anything not parent friendly.

I find it amusing that it is only girls that parents worry about in that respect. Witness: the profusion of females complaining about lack of freedoms on this board.

My parents trust me enough to do many of the things you all cannot. Why? Because I'm a six foot tall guy. No one messes with me. Well, okay, no one except ex-football players, but that's a completely different story there. Really the only thing they don't let me do is take other teens with me while I'm driving. This is most possibly a fear that I'll get in an accident, which is okay by me because my friends can get pretty distracting, especially if they're of the "gentler" gender. Hehehe...sorry.

I'm not even sure how to get my mom to trust me. Just like my dad when I was younger he let me go wherever I wanted but now I cant go anywhere, with anybody. Does anybody know how to get there parents to trust them if so how?ddsltlgrl315@hotmail.com

I can't know the specific situation that you are in for certain, but generally parents worry for their kids well being. It's not that they don't think you react incorrectly to the world around, it's the danger that you won't have a choice of how to act if those predators ever came about. I think that your parents are just overly cautious in how they are protecting you. They fear the "what ifs" of your life, and parents tend to do that for their children because they don't want them to get hurt if they can even have a chance of preventing it.

My mom says the exact same thing to me.... she won't let me drive to a town 1/2 hour away, let me stay out late at night, do things like that etc, because even though she trusts me, she always says that it's the other people out there that she doesn't trust, and that she would never forgive herself if something happend to me. Now that all fine and dandy because of course she's my mom and she's supposed to be worried about me, but it does kinda suck. Oh well, I be living on my own in a few years anyway, and then she won't really be able to control that stuff anyways.

I think thats why my mom is so worried.

Parents should give their kids space, after all they were kids themselves...once upon a time.

I agree with iamastar, my mom doesn't trust me at all and it makes my life a living hell. I know I haven't exactly given her reasons to trust me but...I've lied to her bcz she pushes me to it. Bcz she puts so much restrictions on me when I want to go out and have fun. I just think that it's best to just trust your kids bcz that way u know what they're doing. Cuz to me, its better to kno what your children r up to than for them to do it behind your back.

quote:

Originally posted by freespiritts:
Isn't part of trusting your kid trusting how they will react to the world?

I think that's true. I also think that if you don't let your child grow up, spread their wings, and trust them to make crucial decisions-like the ones you are talking about-than how will they know how to react when they get out on their own and mommy and daddy aren't there to protect them?