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What's not a big deal to you might be a big deal to others. It's not fair to invalidate someone else's feelings.

I'm sorry if I can't exactly fathom why they would complain or seek advice for things like that. But they should realize there are people out there who are envious of them.

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that your mom does something as lame and annoying as spying.

What's not a big deal to you might be a big deal to others. It's not fair to invalidate someone else's feelings.

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I said get over it, because there are far, FAR worse things that your parents could have done to you, like they've done to me.

Well, I'm sorry because that's unfortunate. Everyone has problems with their parents and it's not about saying whose is worse, but accepting that we all have them and sometimes we need advice or just want to vent.

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If you don't have anything to hide, than you shouldn't have a problem with an invasion of privacy.

That is a TERRIBLE philosophy!

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From how it sounds, you don't have any right to complain. But don't assume that everyone has parents as generous as yours.

They're only generous in the category of materialism. They think they can heal my wounds with expensive things. Sounds like they're awesome parents but they really aren't. But I'm not complaining.

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Wow, you must think life is so simple I'm just glad you have the luxury of not knowing what its like!

I don't know what it's like? Oh yeah, you're the only one with problems... I said get over it, because there are far, FAR worse things that your parents could have done to you, like they've done to me. And like what my sister has done to me. I don't trust my father, I never speak to him even though we live in the same house, I'm terrified of him, and it has nothing to do with anything as FRIVILOUS as him invading my privacy. All I'm saying is that it could be much worse, and you should be SO fucking happy that it isn't. You should be happy that your mom does something as lame and annoying as spying. You should be happy she cares at all about what happens in your life.

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That's just too bad. Get over it.

Wow, you must think life is so simple I'm just glad you have the luxury of not knowing what its like!

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If you don't have anything to hide, than you shouldn't have a problem with an invasion of privacy.

Who the *&^% has nothing to hide? Anyone who says that is just full of shit. And invasion of privacy just pisses me off.

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If you really are deserving of trust, then why would your parents feel the need to go through your diary?

People can't stay out of other people's businesses. Even when they have no reason to pry, except for the mere fact that they are curious...or in this case (as in many cases) a parent wants to control their child's life and decisions. Bad parenting if you ask me.

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Furthermore...who really records all of the private and/or intimate details of their life in a diary?!

Pretty much anyone who has a diary.

If you don't have anything to hide, than you shouldn't have a problem with an invasion of privacy.

If you really are deserving of trust, then why would your parents feel the need to go through your diary?

Furthermore...who really records all of the private and/or intimate details of their life in a diary?!

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I'm always paranoid whenever I'm home that my mom is listening in on my conversations and it bothers the hell out of me.

I think that's a viable concern. Youth need their space. Parents can't expect respect when they don't respect their children. At a certain age the the parent has to change from dominant to passive. I'm not sure if passive is the right word, but they have to elt their kids do things on their own.

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they give me money, provide me with transportation, feed me, do my laundry, and buy me things I don't really need (Gameboy, PSP, PS2, games for said consoles, computer, TV, iPod, Invisaligns, etc). I have absolutely no right to complain about my privacy.

From how it sounds, you don't have any right to complain. But don't assume that everyone has parents as generous as yours.

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I'm always paranoid whenever I'm home that my mom is listening in on my conversations and it bothers the hell out of me.

That's just too bad. Get over it.

That's great EarthGoddess. I'm not saying you shouldn't be grateful for your parents and everything they do (hopefully most of us have it good like that). But, the issue isn't about appreciation. You can appreciate your parents, but at the same time lose trust. I'm always paranoid whenever I'm home that my mom is listening in on my conversations and it bothers the hell out of me. She is extremely nosy and it makes me think twice before i tell her anything. I would rather trust her, or think that she trusts me in the decisions I make. Then again, depending on how old this girl is, and what her past is like w/ her parents, then maybe they had good reasons for looking in her diary. I don't know, I don't really know the whole story. I'm just saying that there are better approaches in trying to find out whats going on in your child's life.


I'm sorry if i annoyed you, but its the truth. She's gonna lose trust. And I know what that feels like. I love my mom, but I wish I didn't always think she was trying to get into my business. Trust is an important part of being a parent. There are going to be many times that your kid might break your trust, which makes sense because they are growing up and learning. But is it smart for a parent to do that?

got go with EG on this one, they give us so much that we don't have the right to complain about much

Oh man, this is one of my biggest pet peeves...

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your girlfriend is going to lose a lot of trust for her parents. It's not right at all.

I'm sorry, but parents should not have to care if their kids trust them or not. What matters is whether the parents trust their kids, because they don't make the rules. I'm 18, I live with my parents for free, they give me money, provide me with transportation, feed me, do my laundry, and buy me things I don't really need (Gameboy, PSP, PS2, games for said consoles, computer, TV, iPod, Invisaligns, etc). I have absolutely no right to complain about my privacy.

No, I think that's crossing the line. Just like Lolita said, your girlfriend is going to lose a lot of trust for her parents. It's not right at all. I had something similar happen to me in high school. My mom was eavesdropping on a conversation I was having w/ my boyfriend, and found out that he smoked pot. He wasn't like a dangerous drug addict or anything, but she decided to tell his parents about it without even talking to me. This of course, messed everything up between the two of us. I realize parents want to keep tabs on their kids and don't want anything bad to happen to them. But there should be reasons for breaking someone's trust. If your girlfriend didn't get into too much controversy with her parents before they read her diary, then they are being overbearing. But, if your girlfriend is usually one to get into situations, then I think her parents were probably trying to just protect her. But a diary is a really personal thing, and if they want to find something out, then there are better ways of doing it...like talking to her.

I think that a parent does have the right to read their child diary, but whether they do or not is really a matter of their personal morals.
I mean, they feed, clothe and shelter their kid, as someone else said, and they have a right to know what said child is doing.
However, by reading the diary, they are risking a loss of trust and respect between them and their child.

Of course, if you're do to something your parents dont know about...how about not writing it down and leaving it in your bedroom? If its a case of needing to express yourself through writing, I suggest you do what a therapist once suggested to me; write it down, then burn it or destroy it. That way, you can do the whole therapuetic writing thing, and leave no evidence.

The key thing is to earn your privacy...I could care less if my privacy was invaded because I've got nothing to hide. I keep a diary, but I don't actually write anything in it that I couldn't want someone else to see because I DO live with my parents and I know that they could request to read it at any time and I would have to oblige.

If parents are considered partially liable if their teen goes out and blows up the school, why shouldn't they know what is going on in their personal life?

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You're not adults, you don't have any "right" to privacy in your parents home.

well, doc, i don't exactly agree with u. and are u saying if they are adults they have the right to privacy in their parents home but because they are minors they dont? either way, i think that unless the child is seriously talking about harming someone...it needs to be kept private.

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screw u doc. b/c if u were a teen youd understand that we need our damn PRIVACY.

sorry prettypink...docs profile says he is 20. I don't think in the last year he has forgotten what its like to be a teen. 20 is still a kid too...he can't even drink legally. lol. but i definitly disagree with him and agree with u and most everyone else. lol.

The rule that my parents have always said they'll follow. "We'll let you have your diaries and journals to yourself, for the most part. But if you give us reason to worry about what's going on, we'll read it."

Don't give them a reason for them to feel that they need to. My parents have never broken into my diary/journal (at least that I know...I trust them), but there's also not much in my diary that I wouldn't let them read...ocasionally there's something that I would never hear the end of (from parents and sibs)...like crushes and stuff.

In fact, in my family, you don't get your allowance unless you write in your journal every week. Mormon thing. We're supposed to record things for our posterity.

i don't thaink parents should read there kids such with out there premission

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Originally posted by CelticNewAger:

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You're not adults, you don't have any "right" to privacy in your parents home.

Oh, yes I do. My parents mean jack shit to me. Long story.

Everything you said i feel the same way me and u have alot in common on weird subjects. but thats cool

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You're not adults, you don't have any "right" to privacy in your parents home.

Oh, yes I do. My parents mean jack shit to me. Long story.

screw u doc. b/c if u were a teen youd understand that we need our damn PRIVACY. its not like we go looking in your top shelf or the top of the closet for ur porn mags and movies. if ya want a little ya gota give a little also wat goes around comes around

coming from spending a few weeks in a psychward where I was strongly encouraged to keep a private journal. I think it's incredibly important that it be kept private. Have any of you ever seen the part of "Freaky Friday," where the kid is pretending to be this shrink and then this patient starts talking about how she read her daughters diary??? ok, well anyway, The lead says this, "If she were doing that, she wouldn't be writing about it in her diary!!! she'd be out doing it!!!" Yeah, I think privacy is incredibly important. The therapeutic properties of a journal are similar to a shrink. If your shrink told everyone everything you said, that wouldn't work. Similarly, a journal doesn't work if there isn't privacy.

Of course, if there is a reason to be suspicious of say the child hurting someone, or themselves, that's entirely different. Then I encourage the parent to intervene. But if the kid is writing their own problems out. Don't stop them b/c you'd much prefer them writing it down to them cutting themselves or OD'ing or whatevs they do.