A lot of people I know feels that they are not able communicate with their parents for fear of being judge in whatever they do. As a young adult myself, even though I get along really well with my parents, I do still feel that there are certain things that I don't feel comfortable telling them. Irregardless of how parents these days claim that they are open minded and what not, it isn't all true because in truth, they do still possess the traditional parenting skills.

Most of these times when their children feels like their opinion are being shut down by their parents, they turn to their siblings or their friends as substitutes and try to get ways of being noticed. Speaking of experience, alot of these times that happens, conflict occur and arguments starts.

Is there a way of refining relationships between our parents and children? Should one go to certain extend to claim such attention? Tell me what you think and your experience if you have any.

I think that its perfectly healthy to not tell your parents everything. That doesn't mean a secret life away from your parents, but no matter how close you are there is still a generation gap that may close them off from some subjects. My mother had me when she was very young (and we have an incredibly close connection) so the generation gap is smaller and there is less conflict of ideas, but parents are human. They're going to feel human emotions, like dissapointment, there is no avoiding it. That doesn't mean you should close off topics to avoid dissapointment.

Silence never helps a relationship. It burdens it. Even if they don't know you're keeping something from them, there is a bad vibe. People don't always get to hear what they want to, but that doesn't mean they don't still need to hear it.

quote:

Originally posted by yogore:
I don't always tell the truth to my parental figures, because I don;t want to disapoint them. I think that's how it is for a lot of people. For example, you won't tell your parents that you're drinking or having sex, because that's not what they want to hear. There's a certain amoutn of silence that helps relationships last.

i agree and i feel that most people feel the same way. but in my case, my parents' opinions matter to me, from my friends to my career choices to the way i behave because coming from a conservative family, i think that it's really important that family comes first. right now, im in my first year of doing law and it isnt my choice at all but seeing that my dad is a lawyer and insist that i take up after him, i feel that i should because i dont want to dissapoint him, as a result i take it. irregardless of what i tell him about what i wanted to do which is mass communication, he simply shuts me down and no matter how hard i try, the career choice conversation never last for more than 2 minutes because im constantly being shut off. is there a way of letting them hear you? and trust me, the whole "dad, just hear me out and then talk" strategy doesnt work.

I don't always tell the truth to my parental figures, because I don;t want to disapoint them. I think that's how it is for a lot of people. For example, you won't tell your parents that you're drinking or having sex, because that's not what they want to hear. There's a certain amoutn of silence that helps relationships last.