All my life my dad and i havent seen eye to eye. I come home relax usually home with my big brother and everything is fine, but when my dad gets home i dont even wanna leave my room, over the years he has given me his share of calling me names like "stupid, fatass, dumbass,lazyass, lazy, failure" and yea he has hit me once and a while all my life, once he told me to "go join the army and die for all i care" and that year i experienced problems like i wanted to commit suicide(i was only 8 years old) and its just i talk to him about how it makes me feel and i talk about it with my mom, and the usual answer i get back is just like get over it or dont take it to seriously, and when he does hit me its cause i did somethin dumb or something and it makes me feel like sucha bad person and like everythings my fault like.. im sucha bad person he cant even talk things out with me? idk i just i try to spend as much time away from him.. alotta my friends have the same probs. with their dads too, its nice to know im not alone.. but idk what to do any more, i dont forgive him for how he treats me and the sad thing is.. i feel like i dont love him
he called me the sheep of the family.. the one who doesnt care about anyone but myself.. when repetedly i clean up their messes, i do what im told around the house every now and then i watch my lil cousin, and .. he sits on the couch watching TV
im sick of it.
sometimes i get so stressed out from pressures from him to trying to be accepted by him and from my teachers that i use self inflicted pain to get myself away from it all.. and i regret it.
i have 4 years left of living with my family, but that just seems like too long to deal with, ontop of all that, my bf reminds me of my dad and i dont like that.. it scares me but i love my bf and i dont wana give up on him cause of that.

am i just over reacting and should just get over all this?
.. or is it wrong?
please.
what should i do?

ok, so my dad and my life is nowhere as bad as yours, but what youre doing is wrong. First off cutting yourself so the pain distracts yourself from the emotional pain is no way to deal with anything. I get that talking to your dad probably isnt going to work, cause talking to my dad doesn't work either. but there has to be some kind of hobby you can take up or some form of group you can talk to to get through this. as for your bf it's great that u have a bf that u love but if he's treating u how ur dad does then he isnt worth it. the best thing to do would probably be to just make a clean break and stay away from him. at leas til u get ur life figured out and ur in a better place.

quote:

Originally posted by madmada:

quote:

Originally posted by aluminousXglow:
All my life my dad and i havent seen eye to eye. I come home relax usually home with my big brother and everything is fine, but when my dad gets home i dont even wanna leave my room, over the years he has given me his share of calling me names like "stupid, fatass, dumbass,lazyass, lazy, failure" and yea he has hit me once and a while all my life, once he told me to "go join the army and die for all i care" and that year i experienced problems like i wanted to commit suicide(i was only 8 years old) and its just i talk to him about how it makes me feel and i talk about it with my mom, and the usual answer i get back is just like get over it or dont take it to seriously, and when he does hit me its cause i did somethin dumb or something and it makes me feel like sucha bad person and like everythings my fault like.. im sucha bad person he cant even talk things out with me? idk i just i try to spend as much time away from him.. alotta my friends have the same probs. with their dads too, its nice to know im not alone.. but idk what to do any more, i dont forgive him for how he treats me and the sad thing is.. i feel like i dont love him
he called me the sheep of the family.. the one who doesnt care about anyone but myself.. when repetedly i clean up their messes, i do what im told around the house every now and then i watch my lil cousin, and .. he sits on the couch watching TV
im sick of it.
sometimes i get so stressed out from pressures from him to trying to be accepted by him and from my teachers that i use self inflicted pain to get myself away from it all.. and i regret it.
i have 4 years left of living with my family, but that just seems like too long to deal with, ontop of all that, my bf reminds me of my dad and i dont like that.. it scares me but i love my bf and i dont wana give up on him cause of that.

am i just over reacting and should just get over all this?
.. or is it wrong?
please.
what should i do?

Although I personally have not experienced a situation like the one you are in, I may be able to give you some advice. First of all you are not over reacting, and this is not something you should just get over. There is never a reason your father should treat you the way he does. From the way it sounds, there is nothing you did wrong that caused him to be this way. That is just the way he is. Does that mean he won't change? I dont know, but I do know that you had nothing to do with his actions. So if you at all feel like you deserve to be teated the way he treats you forget about it. Its not your falt. I encourage you to talk to some one about it. If your mom doesn't listen then maybe a teacher, or possable a minister. Also if he is hitting you! Do not keep it to yourself! let the world know! Well I dont know if this is helpful, but take it for what its worth.

my dads the same. im the same as u too. i stay in my room, or try to get away from all that. ive had thots of suicide around 8 years old as well. its not cool. its weird cuz u dont want to dump your problems on someone and complain, so u assume your overreacting after a period of time cuz u remember how upset u were in contrast to how upset u are now. i dont get hit tho. if my dad wasnt so afraid that i'll call the cops or tell my mom, he would totally do it. he even told me when i was about 11 that if it wasnt for my mom, he would be hitting me for my actions. the thing is, he gets p*ssed at every little thing. yet he wants pity and does what your dad does and sits and watches tv. he is a major hipocrit too. he does love me tho, but he dosnt know how to express it. but until he does, i dont really want to be around him.

quote:

Originally posted by aluminousXglow:
All my life my dad and i havent seen eye to eye. I come home relax usually home with my big brother and everything is fine, but when my dad gets home i dont even wanna leave my room, over the years he has given me his share of calling me names like "stupid, fatass, dumbass,lazyass, lazy, failure" and yea he has hit me once and a while all my life, once he told me to "go join the army and die for all i care" and that year i experienced problems like i wanted to commit suicide(i was only 8 years old) and its just i talk to him about how it makes me feel and i talk about it with my mom, and the usual answer i get back is just like get over it or dont take it to seriously, and when he does hit me its cause i did somethin dumb or something and it makes me feel like sucha bad person and like everythings my fault like.. im sucha bad person he cant even talk things out with me? idk i just i try to spend as much time away from him.. alotta my friends have the same probs. with their dads too, its nice to know im not alone.. but idk what to do any more, i dont forgive him for how he treats me and the sad thing is.. i feel like i dont love him
he called me the sheep of the family.. the one who doesnt care about anyone but myself.. when repetedly i clean up their messes, i do what im told around the house every now and then i watch my lil cousin, and .. he sits on the couch watching TV
im sick of it.
sometimes i get so stressed out from pressures from him to trying to be accepted by him and from my teachers that i use self inflicted pain to get myself away from it all.. and i regret it.
i have 4 years left of living with my family, but that just seems like too long to deal with, ontop of all that, my bf reminds me of my dad and i dont like that.. it scares me but i love my bf and i dont wana give up on him cause of that.

am i just over reacting and should just get over all this?
.. or is it wrong?
please.
what should i do?

Although I personally have not experienced a situation like the one you are in, I may be able to give you some advice. First of all you are not over reacting, and this is not something you should just get over. There is never a reason your father should treat you the way he does. From the way it sounds, there is nothing you did wrong that caused him to be this way. That is just the way he is. Does that mean he won't change? I dont know, but I do know that you had nothing to do with his actions. So if you at all feel like you deserve to be teated the way he treats you forget about it. Its not your falt. I encourage you to talk to some one about it. If your mom doesn't listen then maybe a teacher, or possable a minister. Also if he is hitting you! Do not keep it to yourself! let the world know! Well I dont know if this is helpful, but take it for what its worth.

aluminousXglow: wow, you remind me a lot of myslef... i felt the same way about my father for the same reasons that you do. Over the years my father has abused me in any way that you can imagine, physically, emotionally, sexually. I grew to have this resentment and hate towards the man. i looked forward to the day i turned 18 so i could pack up all my stuff and leave. It got even worse before i left, i found out my "father" wasnt even my real father. Can you imagine that? this man wasnt even my real father! what gave him the right to do what he did?!!? nothing! i was so enraged, two weeks after i turned 18 i left my house. even though it really hurt my mother it was something that i had to do.
four years is a llong time, a lot can happen in that time period. You never know, maybe things will get better with your father. or maybe youll learn to understand eachother. Give it a chance hun.... if theres one thing i regret its not giving my father a chance. i only wished i would have given him a chance and then maybe things would have turned out differently. maybe he could have things from a different angle and made an effort to change.
another thing, PLEASE PLEASE be smart about when you leave home. it is way more difficutl to make it than i thot. theres rent, school, so many other things that have to be delt with. and its really hard because i have no car. plan things out before you take any action... think of the consequences of your actions dear.
o yea, why does your bf remind you of your fahter? i truly hope that it isnt because of the attitude or that your bf treats you the same way your father does... hun, nothing good can come from a relationship that starts out like something that your already trying to get away from. i understand that you love him, believe me i really do. i ran away from home cuz i thot i loved my bf, we were together a while until he decided to leave me. i loved him desperatly and kept going back to him and letting him control me. it took 2 years of him for me to understand that it wasnt worth it. Think about this dear, do you really see yourself with him? wat kind of life awaits you with a man just like your father?
please dont be upset. your probably thinking "who the hell is this chick?!?! why does she think she can tell me this!?!?" but i only do it because ive been through it. everything your wrote sounded just like myself a year ago and i really dont want you to have to struggle the way i did if you really dont have to...

if you need anything im here yo...
good luck with everything