quote:

---

i knew he wasnt pleased i just couldnt help telling myself he liked me no more...

---

I can understand what you are saying, your dad may be a little extreme from the sound of it. If parents are constantly yelling and hitting, then it is wrong. I should clarify, I don't believe in spanking kids everyday. There are extremes and there are other punishments aside from yelling and hitting.

my mum has a nice personality and she's never rude to me,and my dad used to spanked me until i went to primary school,now he's still loud and annoying though he doesnt punish me any more

i think parents forgot how it felt.when i was little i was just afraid and it encouraged me to lie and cover things,it didnt hurt much because it wasnt in order to hurt me,but i was frightened,i was ashamed,everytime i made a mistake i thought it could be the end of the world,i learnt to pick my dad just to find the balance to comfort myself,i never wanted to talk to him,now i still hate it when he yells at me or talks to me in a loud voice(which means i wont like to talk to him most of the time),i subliminally dont like to take his advices,i avoid asking him for help or anything involved with him.that's how i felt,it just pushed me away from my dad especially when i found anything bad about him

what makes you think little children would know that you liked her even though you were punishing her anyways?i knew he wasnt pleased i just couldnt help telling myself he liked me no more...

besides,usually this is telling kids not to do something,but telling somebody "not to do something" is just like reminding me "doing something",dropping a hint in my mind,that thing just goes like a picture running through my mind...the more i'm afraid i'd do it again the easier i'd have done that...

and if you ask me what have i learnt from being punished...i cant recall

Good for you BillyO

My chest hurts

Bye N Have a nice day

Don't be Teddy

as said before I have turned negative things into very positive things. And honestly, I know alot of kids might not understand, but I haven't missed my parents in the least. It was the best thing that could happen to me.

Sorry, about that BillyO.

Bye N Have a nice day

quote:

---

I use to get hit with the hand, the belt, the shoe, the foot, the fist, the kick but yea life goes on.

---

me too!

Which is why I haven't seen my parents since I was 15

I use to get hit with the hand, the belt, the shoe, the foot, the fist, the kick but yea life goes on.

Nye N Have a nice day

boy do I have some kids I'd love to introduce you to!!!!!

before you make a statement like that, you need to spend some time at a few reform schools or juvenile detention centers, I have a sneaking suspicion you might change your view on that

incorrect

you are allowed to spank your children as long as it does not leave a mark. However you are not allowed to say hit them with a belt, a ruler or some other object. At least that is how it is in my state.

And I agree with it...

I don't think it is ever right to hurt your child. Sure it may solve immediate problems but it could lead to SERIOUS problems for these people as adults. Not to meantion it is child abuse...which is ILLEGAL. I think that child abuse is a huge problem in today's society. No matter how bad a child is they should never have to be spanked. It is the parents fault that the child is bad. They should have brought their child up better. Problems should be solved using love not hate. Sounds kind of cliche but that could make all the difference. Oh and what are you guys all saying about if the spankings aren't to the level of abuse. Its ALWAYS abuse when you hit someone. If you shoot someone so that they don't die then you still shot them
-Annie

I think that it's just fine as long as it doesn't come to the point of abuse. I was spanked as a child and I didn't do some things because I knew that if I did that I'd be in trouble. My little cousin is 6 years old and when she was about 3 or 4 her mom would count to get her to do something and my cousin would start counting with her. It didn't help my cousin but when she knew that she was going to get a spanking she did what she had to do.

Corporal punishment, I feel, is acceptable. It's the way I was raised and I turned out to be a respectable person. Spankings, when used appropriately, never hurt anyone.

Spanking is definately necessary in order to discipline a child. Without it kids would dislodge parents' rules, unless there was some other form of reprobation, which I don't think would be as effectual if the child is extremely unruly.

Well, of course not all children are the same. However, speaking of the average child, I think spanking from ages (guessing) six through nine is ok. Not too hard or anything, just a couple smacks to get the point across. And it should only be for large or repeat offenses, and never in public. The parent should also make sure the child knows what he/she is being punished for.

No, it is not fair to spank, or hit a child who misbehaves. Is it fair to hit or spank and adult? no. Therefore I dont think its right to hurt someone, anyone for their wrongdoing.

I guess I see your point, outspoken. Different children need different kinds of parenting, but I still think smacking should be avoided if at all possible… for some, like my mum, it leaves negative feelings and resentfulness. That was why she decided never to resort to it unless it was an extreme situation (the Car Incident). Also it's hard to say where to draw the line, like how much can a parent smack their child before it gets abusive and can they use it as an excuse for abuse? Where does the law draw the line? (Really, I'd like to know).

For some children it would be like the worst parenting method. I have another cousin, who's autistic, has asperger's syndrome (he's brother to the one that threw the tantrum actually), called Sam. My aunt has to be really patient with him and using smacking to discipline him could be disasterous. He wouldn't understand, he would just hate her for it… my grandad threatened him once and it was awful, it just made him worse… as he's growing up he's getting so much better and well-behaved and the way they chose to discipline him really helped. Now his little brother is more trouble than he is. In fact they probably need totally different kinds of parenting, which makes it kind of difficult when you want to treat them equally. Like, Sam needs infinite patience while Joseph just needs to be told what's what and no second chances.

Hey, kids are complicated…

Bex

We're not saying that parents should beat the hell outta their kids, not at all. That's abuse, and completely and totally wrong.

I don't think that diciplining your child by spanking them (swatting their butts, hard enough to hurt, but not hard enough to bruise, and not more than a few swats per occasion) makes them paranoid or fearful.
Again, I was spanked as a child, when I did something seriously wrong (or repeated did something wrong). Ya know what? Most of the time I knew what I was doing was wrong, and I knew the consequences, but I did it anyway. When I did get spanked, it really put things into perspective...not so much "don't cross daddy" as "don't do that again kim, your *** is getting sore."

Is it fair? Well, if a child knows they are doing something wrong, and knows the punishment is spanking, but does it anyway (as I did) then, sure, it's fair...again, spanking, not beating the crap out of small children. If a parent's just beating a kid b/c they have other issues and are taking it out on the kid (aka abuse) nope, not fair, not right, not condoned on this board.

i dont think its right no kid should be slammed for nething. if the deserve it. still doesnt matter. i ****s you up and leaves you paranoid waiting to expect it. its just wrong. and you can fight back so how the HELL IS IT FAIR!

quote:

---

Every child is different I guess. maybe with some it's necessary.

---

Exactly. Me, I was one of those kids who defied authority, and did stuff wrong until someone came down upon me. Sometimes it was a spanking, other times groundings...

I really doubt my parents felt guilty about it. I know I wouldn't feel guilty.

Hmm, this installing fear business. Again, it's unique to each child. When I was little, I was terrified of my dad, and with good reason. He's a big guy, with a loud voice, and when you **** him off, you get hell for it. Yet my mom dealt out a lot of my spankings and I was never afraid of her.

I don't agree with smacking ('spanking' as you ker-azy Americans call it). There are other ways to teach kids a lesson.

I was only smacked once, and that was because I ran out in front of a car. It got the point home (and I still remember it vividly) but that was an extreme situation. Believe it or not, kids will feel more guilty if you don't smack them. If you smack them, they feel like the wronged party, whereas if you explain it to them, they might actually feel sorry. People say 'I'm none the worse for it' but I was as good as gold and was never smacked except for that one time. I'm none the worse for the parenting my mum and dad used, either. I don't like the idea of parenting through fear. If you use ways other than force, you come out of it guilt-free and the child can be just as disciplined.

It is possible to explain to children why what they've done is wrong. My young cousin had a tantrum and threw a load of stuff around. Afterwards we made him put everything back where it was. He screamed like crazy, but he did it. He knew he couldn't mess with us after that, and I think he knew he was in the wrong.

Every child is different I guess. maybe with some it's necessary. But I hope I never have to smack any children I have.

Bex