I once thought I was gay/bisexual. I'm 23 now, but when I was 16, 17 and 18, I actually thought that I was in some way gay/bi. I'm telling you all this because I've had a very (could have been worse) self-realization that God showed me, and because of the position I am in, the duty that I have been called to do, I only believe it best to just lay it all out on the table.

My apologies to those on YouthNOISE who thought that I was so perfect or hypocritical even. This is the confession I put up publicly last night:

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Just let it flow...

Apparently, there's some history about my life that has not been revealed, and this is only to bring peace to myself, God and the people who I have hurt. And before going further, which, if you read this all, it might take you a good time, but before you read on, know that July 22, 2002 changed my life forever: http://www.joeydauben.com/Testimony.htm And also note that, in anything I ever write on here from here on out, unless otherwise noted, is not for pride, or ego, or self-gain, but because it's a lot easier to come clean, finally, once and for all.

I'm not as honest as I've made myself out to be. Deep down, I am a wretched, sick human...and while I take full and complete responsibility for my actions, here recently I have been made aware of some facts of self-realization.

I was put into a powerful position by God, and it resulted from my near-death experience on July 22, 2002 (the basis for the Testimony link), but like everyone, people go through backsliding phases. While, again, not blaming anyone or anything but myself, I feel and have been led to disclose some very personal information that I have not shared, but maybe at one time or another, some have questioned.

This is going to hurt a lot of people, but I believe a righteous man who will one day stand before Jesus Christ to give an account of the things he's done (me, you, everyone), I can manage to publicly confess to future and potential voters, friends, colleagues, etc.

The lifestyle I had - drugs, alcohol, sex, getting arrested, having a criminal record, stealing, lying, cheating, cussing, you name it - was fun while it lasted. That was before July 22, 2002. But here lately, I've used my second breakup with Elizabeth (ex-gf whom I believed was "the one") as an excuse and license to dwelve back into that old lifestyle, not caring about anyone in the process. Though I waited until I was 20-years-old before finally having sex, my "record" is absolutely disqusting since then...while I cannot apologize for my past actions, I can repent of those, and ask God, my friends, my family, etc. for forgiveness.

Please note that this latest confession, the biggest yet, is not out of some sick pride and self-promotion, but a revelation that as a public official and public property, which I consider myself, should be brought out in the open. I take courage in knowing that I'm very outspoken, opinionated, open, honest, but there's more.

Yes, I have recently been involved (sexually) with girls I barely know/knew; yes, I have been sober and intoxicated while engaging in those acts. No, I do not remember all of what happened at a little get-together in Waxahachie about a month and a half ago; and yes, I was at first highly ticked off when told that a "neighbor" of mine had Instant Messaged Lauren (girl from GP), telling her a lot of my past history. Now, whether this was out of sincerity or jealousy, I cannot confirm, but realize now that it was a definite turning point in my latest downfall.

I am ashamed of what I have done, and would like to take back the hurt I've caused many people. The spotlight and pressure, as well as the huge responsibility God has bestowed upon me, was just too great I realized. I can't do it by myself. I cannot live day by day for God and do what God wants me to do by myself. It's hopeless and utterly impossible. My pride and ambitions (lots of them) got the best of me, but not before a real traumatic experience like the one on July 22, 2002. I'm still grateful to the people who have "warned" others about me, and about my past, and about how it could eventually hurt someone.

Again, this is not to self-promote, but deep down I am broken. I am mentally on my knees begging for forgivess and trying to repent. I have not felt weak in a long time, but this time ...God allowed me to wake up before a violent situation would have shaken me into realization.

Okay, let's get to the point. Let's be honest, shall we? My heart has been exploding in emotion since leaving a barely-even-known friend...basically it's like this. I call Lauren on my cellphone and she says that Neighbor Girl IMed her, telling her about my past, about what I had recently done, and that I was involved w/her sexually but said I didn't see her as more than a friend. Basically I was dead in the water. Lauren, after meeting her last month, had become a good friend and I really wanted to pursue more with her, but *not* in the "typical-guy-sexual" way; believe this or not, the two girls I had really gotten comfortable with getting close to were not being seen (from my view) as sex objects. Elizabeth and I didn't even go past kissing, and this is the girl I believed would be my future wife.

Anyway, my sexual orientation has been hetereosexual, but that was not always the case, specifically when I was about 15, 16, 17 and 18. And let me tell you, it was such a relief to finally tell God, "Okay, this is what I'm planning to lay out on the table: that I had 'gay tendencies' when I was younger." I am totally confident in admitting all of this now, because I know that because of my status as a "public official," every single aspect of my entire life is up for examination. I simply must accept this fact as a sinner. I am not innocent by any stretch of the imagination, and you can read all you want about it on my website, which I have put up for people TO examine. I fully take responsibility and will be held accountable for my actions, not only to God, but to the public reading this, and who will possibly decide - in the future - if they will vote for me or not.

Now, I've had many people say that I should not even be diving this far into my personal life, but Christians and non-believers, this confession has broke free the chains of my guilt, my inner turmoil that I had gone through, and the utter prison Satan was holding me in. It's broken. The chain has been broken and because of my loss of pride, ego, and selfishness, I am able to admit all of this.

Demonize me. Ridicule me. Tell your friends, I don't care. Don't give me sympathy. Don't give me a free pass.

Just know that a real man can admit his mistakes, where he was/is wrong, and can pray to God for forgivess of those mistakes. And also know that because of who God is, people like me have a gift that is the best of all: salvation.

Please continue to pray for me, as the now-released revelations I have shared will become contagious...I do this as an example of just how sick I was. And now I am free.

"The truth shall set you free."

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http://www.xanga.com/joey75154/

I once thought i was str8, turns out i was just in denial lol.

That seems to be more about your feelings towards being sexually too active (in your eyes) since you were 20. And if you were caring enough to feel for that girl Elizabeth regardless of the fact you just kissed or whatever, I think it's safe to say you're not a sexually hyperactive sicko...there are people who would make what you described virginal. Or maybe I got the wrong impression. Also, what made you think you were not exactly straight as an arrow? You hear a lot of people say "I used to think I was gay"...but I'm always curious to know what happened to make them think that.

Joey, that's honestly no big deal. What becomes the big deal is how you let that effect you. Either you learn from it and move on to being who you want to be or let your past bog you down and make you feel dirty or whatever.

Like someone else said on here, what teen hasn't wondered or had passing thoughts about the same sex. If they say that they haven't they're a damn lie. I have chicks that hit on me all of the time. It's weird, but flattering at the same time. That doesn't mean that I'd do anything with them, but I don't think it's wrong for people that would either.

Woah now... Theres nothing wrong with being religious, but this seems a bit overboard.. A headache is the devils work? Then my deeply religious grandmother is in for a surprise. I respect your opinions, but it seems like you've gotten a bit too into christian brainwashing.

well, i'm not afraid to tell god i'm gay, he already knew before i was even born. but to me, i really don't think i can even try to stop this "sin". yeah, i don't have to have sex with another girl for the rest of my life, but i'll still be gay. but whatever, back to the topic! please no one respond to this, i responded in thw wrong way. thank you and have a nice day!

some things you did aren't "sins", theyre just normal. everyone thnks he/she is gay to a point. we all want alcohol. we all lust.

Jookly, it's like this:

Either cover it up, keep hiding it all, and when I say all, I mean EVERYTHING, the drugs, alcohol, sex, etc. or...

Have my opponents do it for me. And still have me hiding things, covering it up, denying or lying about it...

So if anything, this proppelled my public career in more ways than I can even imagine, and you know, it's not even about me.

Jesus Christ died on a cross more than 2,000 years ago so that the crap I and every other person will and have done can be able to stand before him, and tell him YES JESUS, I DID THAT, AND BECAUSE YOU LOVED ME SO MUCH, I AM FREE AND I AM GOING TO SPEND ETERNITY WITH YOU!


If this has a negative impact on any part of my life, I'll take it, because Jesus took a lot more. A whole lot more.

thats cool Joey. Should really help your political career.

And this is supposed to move me....how, again? But hey, you learn something new every day.

As a side note, this is why we have the "Q" on GLBTQ, Q for "questioning." It's mostly young teens who question, who are just becoming aware of things like that. I'm glad you screwed your head on straight and tight, as straight as it's ever gonna be. Wait, there's a pun in there. Heh. That was unintentional.

i just read this whole article with my mouth wide open..

joey i just wish u the best of everything in this metamorphisis (sp?)
theres akways place fore reforma nd coming so clean is the bravest thing one can do..hats off to you for that....

whatever it is, may the force be with you,

sudha

i just read this whole article with my mouth wide open..

joey i just wish u the best of everything in this metamorphisis (sp?)
theres akways place fore reforma nd coming so clean is the bravest thing one can do..hands off to you for that....

whatever it is, may the force be with you,

sudha

i already commented on your xanga, but we didint think you were perfect, i thought you were arrogant

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My apologies to those on YouthNOISE who thought that I was so perfect

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Haha.