I'm sorry for all those who were abused and mentally, morally, and physically attacked at the hands of sick, twisted, and demented predators. One thing I cannot stand no matter what the case is sexual abuse. It's even worse if it's a family member doing that to you. I'm sorry, and it's all your choices, but in my opinion, you should tell your therapists about your encounters and see that whoever did these things to you get just punishment. I'm not sure what to say to anyone who was abused by a little boy however (like an 8 or 9 yr old). I honestly don't know how to respond to that. But if your family member is 15 and doing that to you, he should be punished. I have no sympathy or mercy for them. I can understand why you'd feel bad for them if they're your cousin (you don't want to ruin their life), but if it were me, I wouldn't care who they were. I would see that they get what's coming to them. You are the victim, not them. If they got away with it as a child, they will think they could get away with it again later in life.

please consider my opinion, although I am a boy, and have never had any direct experience with sexual abuse. The only experience that have affected me are those involving other family members. I just feel very strongly against anyone who does that to any person of any age. They are sick and twisted vermin who should be punished.

ChrissyLynn

you are brave. I know what it feels like to be sexual abuse and afraid to tell any one for years it has hunted me and still does. It changed the way i feel and react to people.

my Aunt pasased away when I was about 8 and because she died i had to go to my mother side of the family and my cousin 15 at the time use to feel on me and on my birthday he raped me. My mother knew and she didn't do anything to stop it. I was so ashamed and embrassed. i felt dirty and not worth love or anything else. I started dressing like guys and being to myself i became a stranger to everyone. then i meet this guy years later and he abused me physical and emotional and sexually. I felt low ... lower then i did years ago. I hated myself and still do. I hate my body and looks just me. I have so much pain and hurt that i really can't live my life happy like i've always want and i appulad you because you were brave to tell your story.

because it's embarassing, it hurts, and the victims feel guilty, like somehow its their fault that it happened, and they're unconfident, and fearful and insecure, and especially when a close family member does it, they feel like they cannot trust annyone, and like they'll be rejected and ostracized - how much more plain can it be?

I'm not a victim of child abus, but a friend of mine is. Im scared for her. she was so innicent when we were little nd now she is slleping around and she was pregnant 2 times by the age of 13. i asked her y she didnt tel any one and she said it is cuz the person that did t to her was a very close member of the family and no one would beliee her. also, he is always buying her tuuf. she doesnt seem to realize that it is just a way for him to try to get her to be quiet. I cant say this with all certianty because it never happened to me, but, it bothers me that no one ever tells anyone. can someone explain that to me?

quote:

I don't want to ruin his life by bringing it all up again.

It's more important that you're okay. Your therapist should help you deal with this and then you have to be careful to avoid situations like before. Try to not be alone with people that have sexually abused you in the past.

It's happened to me. My brother when I was 8 and he was 13, hurt me that way. Some boy from down the street had me take off my clothes for him when I was 9 and I thought it was okay cause my brother had done that and a lot more. Two girls had me undress for them too before I was ten. And last summer my 19 year old cousin sexually abused me. I am 15. But then again it was my fault because I didn't tell him to stop even though I wanted to. He would have stopped if I'd said to. So now I just told my therapist and I keep having panic attacks cause my brother's coming home from college next semester. But I'm sure he won't do it again. I don't want to ruin his life by bringing it all up again.

I'm like ruthibel, I've never been abused like that but I'm sure it must do a lot of damage. Get help, and save yourelf, you CAN do it.

never been abused sexually, so I cant ever know how hard that is to go through, but if you have been, seek help

Yes I have been Sexually abused. Not by family but by Ex Girlfriend. And I don't want to really talk about it. But what I can say is if this has happended to any one get help. No matter what happens no one should be able to do that to you.

Chrissylynn and Daydreamerforfreedom...
I am also another person who has been effected by someone in my family that has sexually molested me. My older cousin of a year, we were severely close, and it hurts me a lot. I told about a year after it happened, and nothings really happened with it. I was gonna bring it to the police but nothing would happen because i have no evidence. I'm not saying dont tell. Because you should, its just the way my family runs that it kinda stays in the dark. I also went to a therapist for it, and it helped but then i got sick of the therapist acting like she really KNEW me. So I stopped going, which brings me back to feeling shitty again. I think teh only advice I can give is, Get help. We all need to work through these things...it's the healthy thing to do...

I wanted to say something to DayDreamerforFreedom... I have kept a secret like the one you are keeping for eight years. It wasn't even my own secret. But it is horrible to keep day after day- knowing that I could have prevented something that has happened and I still haven't spoken up. It's not good for you. I know, it practically tears me apart everyday. i think you should talk to your parents about it, or at least somebody. Even if it's somebody you don't know- like somebody on this site. I would be more than happy to talk to you myself. But please talk to someone- anyone. I know how much it hurts- even if you can't feel it right know- it's always there until you can get it off your chest. Don't wait until it manifests and becomes too strong for you to handle.

omg Becky is that you- chica_notanugget? I never knew that. Have you ever told anyone- like anybody at school? Cuz I never heard that happened.

Hi, and thanks for sharing your stories, abuse is a horrible thing, but maybe we help others through talking about it.

when I mean I haven't come out about it I mean my family doesn't know yet.

hey I'm so sorry to hear this, I was sexually abused by someone in my family too but I haven't come out about it yet, I don't think I ever will, but thanks so much for sharing ur story.

hey, i was sexualy abused when i was about 7. i held in in, for a long time. this i smy strory...



i woke up easter morning eager (3 am) eager to c wut the easter bunny (i was seven) had brought. when i go out to the living room, i c beer bottles all over the floor, and my sister's drunken boy friend on the couch. i trusted him, i looked up to him, i thought he was great, i was seven so i didn't understand wut people could do when they were drunk. i was shivering with the early morning coldness, he saw that i was cold, this was his chance, to get wut he wanted. he was under a blanket, and told me to come sit with him, so i could get warm. the he said this is ur easter present from me, he reached his hand down my pasnts, and he started touching me, i tryed to get up, but he was so much bigger than me, he kept holding me down. he then asked if i wantec to feel something even better (sick pervert!) i said no shyly, and frightened, he said he better not, and contnued touching me. finnaly he passed out on top of me. i had to pull my self out from under him, and it wasn't easy. i didn't tell n e one till august. i held it in for five months. i told my mom, who told my sister, who broke up with him. i am sick of writting, but if u want me to explain how we handled it email me at chica_notanugget@yahoo.com life is hard for a lot of people, like us, but if we stick together we can make it through it.

i went out with this kid last year, i was a junior in high school, and so was he, but i had been homeschooled in a pretty sheltered environment up until last year, and didnt really know what pervs were out there. anyway, i went out with him for 3 months and at first he was really decent, then he started getting pushy, like hed try to make me perform oral, and hed force it on me, id tell him no, and to stop, but he still did anyway, and then he started asking for regular sex. i told him no, i didnt want to, but he still bugged me and bugged me about it, and finally when he realized i wouldnt give in, he broke up with me. at first i felt so betrayed, cause i found out he had been cheating on me the whole time anyway, and then i convinced myself that hed never done anything wrong, it was only me exaggerating the situation, but then it really hit me that he had abused me, and i felt so horrible. i blamed myself for it for the longest time and hated him, and i wouldnt trust any guys for months. then i started going out with my current boyfriend....i still didnt really trust guys too much, but i learned to trust him, and when i told him about what happened, he was so great about it, and he hasnt ever forced me to do anything that i dont want to do. its really scary though, how such a seemingly harmless situation can go so far, and leave you so scarred. i used to have nightmares all the time that my ex was there again doing it to me all over, and i could even feel him at times, it was so terrifying. but one of the things that i learned was it is not your fault in anyway if it has happened to you. it wasnt you doing the wrong, and you arent to blame for it. i still despise my ex, but i dotn think that i hate him as much as i did before, because i learned that he is a sad creature, only in need of pity for his pathetic life. sometimes, i still feel i a surge of rage though when i see him, because it angers me that he can go on with his life without a second thought about what he did, and i have to live with it day by day, constantly, never forgetting what happened. i dotn know, its a really confusing and hurtful thing, that someone who you trust and care for to do that to you. and i think that one of the worst feelings is the feeling of violation, which happens to you, and its something you cant get rid of. i know i wrote alot, but i havent had the chance to ever really let it all out with people who know waht its like, and can really feel your pain, and it gives me comfort to know that there are people out there who care and will give me the opportunity to let it out like this. thanks guys....

thank you wallflower for sharing your story...and i am sorry you too had to face this.

well i have disscussed this with my mom and desided not to pursue it.....

she says since my sted dad knows what happened it is up to him to protect his step daughter....i guess i still feel a bit of responsibility, but mom says i cant save every single girl he comes into contact with and i will just end up hurting people....

maybe there is a part of me who just wants to get it out there so his wife and everyone can know what he is....a sick person, he in same ways has ruined my life.....and somedays i wake up and want to ruin his......

i do know this has helped me in one part of my life, i know the kind of things to watch out for with my own children.

I was, by my stepdad, when I was 8. My sister was too- she was a 13. He was 52. He would write her letters and peep in her windows when she was dressing,sneak in her room and watch her sleeping- he even took pictures of her!stuff like that. One day, when my mom was at work he took her into his room and did everything to her BUT full on sex.This went on for a month or so.And then she refused to come over for visitation.(we're really half sisters, she lived with her dad and i live with our mom) She told my mom about a month after my 13th birthday, because I mentioned that he was being too suggestive to me. Like, telling jokes that you don't tell your daughter or talking about his sex life with my mom. He never did anything to me in a sexual way more than that one time. He said I was the ugly one of the two of us- (ive always been slightly overweight, and my sister isnt.) My mom kicked him out as soon as she heard what he did to her. She testified against him in court,and that helped her alot-getting him convicted and Baker Acted helped too(I don't think you want to send your brother to prison though, or a mental institution)-I am so bad at explaining this situtaion, so bear with me. I wasn't sexually abused more than once, but I DID serve as his punching bag for 7 of the 10 years my mom was married to him. I still can't get over tha fact that she SAW what was happening to me, and she didnt do ANYTHING! I mean, my sister has always been her favorite, but I was beaten to a pulp so often that I was afraid to talk around him in case it made him angry. Ive gotten counseling, and so has she, but it never really goes away- I still flinch when I see someone who looks like him,and I still have nightmares sometimes. I'm just glad that he's of the streets for now.Please, make sure that your brother doesnt hurt those children. And get some counsleing. It really helps, I promise.

freedom---i didnt realize i had been abused as a tot until it happened again when i was 10, it was like it opened up all the supressed memories...then i could remeber being in my "step" grandmas house he took me to her bedroom, locked the door and made me touch him, i was only about 3....but what on earth made a 8 yr old little boy what to do that.....it almost seems someone had to be doing it to him....
you were not born a pervert, it is strange, i have thought the same about myself....almost like you dont want to believe it (the abuse ) happened....so we try to find another excuse as to why we have these "memories"

yes life would certainly be different....

Celtic, i am sooo afraid i will get the same crap.....denial.... i cant even say what he would do/say....i dont even know him now

the whole experience left me confused, at 10 i thought that since he touched me like that, he really cared about me....(i was 10, so i didnt know what it meant) it wasnt till later that year i told my mom and her reaction made me realize that what he did was not because he cared about me, but that it was abuse.
befor i told my mom, i can still remember lying in my bed at night wondering if he was ever going to talk to me again, because he "cared" about me that much, i used to listen to my radio and miss him....

that thought now makes me violently ill.

at that moment in my life, i felt used, and still sometimes equate being intiment with my husband as being used......which couldnt be farther from the truth, my husband is extremly good to me and always has been......i almost feel as though i punish him for my past....it is such an unfair situation....

sorry so long, but thanks for reading it, it helps to talk about it.