i know we talk a lot about child abuse on here....so i hope this isnt a repeat thread...but i have this friend and he's 15 and he's physically(and obviously emotionally as well) abused by his father. for some reason helping him doesnt seem as easy as helping somebody who's 8....i'm not quite sure why. i talk to him about it, but he always just says that he can handle it and not to worry. but obviously i do worry. his other friends tell me that this has been going on for a while...but i didnt know until just recently. help please.
luv, erica

If he's not being seriously injured I would recommend giving escape, I used to have the mental health group at school and we basically supported each other, talked, boosted self-confidence, got each other out of the house whenever possible, stuff like that. And if you tell a counselor about injury they may have to tell CPS, which could get him hurt worse by angry parents if there is no evidence when CPS comes, (trust me, the system sucks) and he may not appreciate you taking that risk without asking him first. Also, when he says it's okay, remind him it's not, and if bad results start popping up in his personality force him to see them, and tell him just because he can take it that doesn't mean you will just let him and not help, because he wouldn't do that to you. Sometimes all there is for a minor to do is bear the weight until they can get out, and that's what they need help with.

~Kitty

The same thing happened with my friend this year. Her step-dad would hit her and her mother, and for awhile they didn't know what to do. If I were you, I would make her feel better by giving her kind words of encouragement (and boosting her self-esteem because it can lead to depression if they stay in a house like that). But eventually my friend had to go to the police and they had to get a lawyer and all that. In the end she moved in with her mother's grandparents. And sometimes that is just what you have to do. Because in some places you can't get help (the school won't do anything, and police usually can't help), you just have to get the person to change their abusive environment that they are in before it turns deadly, or affects the person badly in the future.

I get really upset when people say that the best way to deal with abuse is to get away. Well, yea it is but alot of times the abusee can't get away from the abuser.

Also the abusee, if emotionally abused to an extent, will start thinking that it is just a phase that the abuser is going through and he/she will get over it soon.

WRONG. WHat should you do? Try to get the person out of the house as much as possible, make that person feel loved and try to get them to understand that if they don't want to talk to a psychiatrist they can always talk to you. Tell them that you know you can't understand exactly what there going through but would like to help them through it.

If it starts getting physical then get them out of the house.

i have a close friend, whose parents basically tortured him. it was to a point that he lived in my house for a year. he was so angry at everything, he'd get violent (which sucks because he isnt weak and short), he's tried suicide, and he did drugs (we put him in rehab though). he barely talked. his parents not only abused him (i call it torure him) physically, but emotionally as well, saying stuff like "you're a worthless piece of ****" and worse. this was until he was 15, when he moved to my home, and ow he's with an aunt that's really sweet and stuff.

he's still very secretative, serious, stressful, with huge depressions, but at least he doesnt live at his "home" anymore. and i think he's improving, though some thing i dont think will ever change.

-arianhorn

I don't think abuse can be solved by counseling unless all of the people involved are willing to participate.

I've found for myself that the best way to avoid abuse is to leave the house where you are being abused and live in a "normal" home where people don't manipulate you or hurt you.

Abuse is a serious problem in America and I wish it could go away, but I doubt it ever will. Most abusers are such cowards and they hide everything. I think child abusers, when caught, should be severely punished.

I go to this site, girlsofgrace.com where its got a message board. and one time while i was on a girl got on and said 4 us 2 pray cuz she was bein abused. well we kinda got 2 know her, and then 1 day her b/f got on and said she had taken a drug overdose, had cut herself really deeply (on her wrists) and was in a coma @ the hospital! when she got back home (luckily she lived through the coma, she had about a 50% chance of dying!) she had a cast on her arm, and another 1 on her leg.

well we got updated again yesterday, and she was going 2 sum home 2 get away from her abusive parents, and to help herself stop cutting-but her parents wouldnt let her! so her b/f was gunna sneak her out. idk if they got out alright, but if u could pray thatd be great!

sumtimes u cant do anything, u just hafta leave it up 2 God

Have you talked to a counciler about it? They could most likely help him out on that. So maybe if you could get him to see a counciler or just somebody to talk to,things would get better.