I chose to put this under the "Exploitation of Children" board, because I am beginning to believe that a lot of these seemingly caring parents end up exploiting their children.

I nanny for three elementary aged girls, two of which are very involved in dance. They have 19 and 11 weekly dance classes each. I was at the high school helping out with their dress rehearsal today and I just could not believe what I saw. Mind you this is a rehearsal, not an actual performance...I had an 8 year old girl crying and refusing to go on stage because she couldn't find her hair clip, a 12 year old carrying her into the backstage area kicking and screaming, parents who were acting as though the pose their girls were doing for pictures was the most important decision of their life (they ended up over a half hour behind because of the stupid parents...), people stealing costume pieces.

My favorite moment was when one of the girls was all dressed for her next act when another girl came and told her that she needed to be in a different costume, she changed only to find out that the costume she had on originally was the right one. Her mother was helping her get changed and she was screaming at her daughter, "Don't you dare listen to anyone, especially not kids!", "You were ALL DRESSED!"...she was so passionate with her screaming that she resumed screaming in a foreign language. The girl, meanwhile, is SOBBING (and smudging all her mascara, noted the mom...).

Is it just me, or is this some sort of fascade for child torture? (And it's not just dance either...stuff like this happens with all sports...)

I was pushed way to hard in sports when I was younger by my mother. She used to tell me how bad I was and that I needed to improve majorly. I was always in it for the fun and did not like the pressure, so I would always quit because she would spoil it for me. I went through gymnastics, volleyball, track, cheerleading, diving, and tenis, and I do none of them today.

I think there's been a big trend in this direction in virtually all child activities. The level of competitiveness is just astounding, and it's being perpetuated from the get-go (make sure your child has that extra edge! Play Mozart for him/her in utero!). I know I'm speaking very broadly here, but it's been my experience that nowadays for every kid in Little League because he has fun playing baseball there's two intent on joining a Major League team when they grow up; for every kid in chess club because he enjoys the game there's two whose sole purpose in life is to win the statewide competiton; and for every guy who joins the concert choir to meet girls (this is the one I have the most experience with) there's two who want to be the next American Idol.

My theory is that it's a trend that developed from unsure parents (i.e., virtually all first-time parents) and marketers looking to exploit them with programs and gadgets that will "give their kids that extra edge in life." Yes, it is exploitation, and a vicious cycle of it: society exploits parents and parents exploit children.

So yes, a lot of kids are being pushed too hard and a lot of dreams eventually come crashing down, but it's not the end of the world. I at least hope that some kids who are put through the whole process are able to learn a thing or two about disappointment and perspective. Besides, just because of the tendency to daydream almost all little kids expect to be bestselling novelist astronaut supermodel gymnast rockstars when they grow up. In fact, I still do.

Three words: Little League baseball.

It's worse than pro or college sports. At least when Bobby Knight hits you, you can do something about it.

NO YOUR WRONG!
SPORTS ARE SO PARENTS CAN MAKE MONEY ABUSING THEIR KIDZ!


it's disgusting, I've also seen this before, i used to pay hockey and the attitudes os some of the parents where definitly questionable.

It's ridiculous. It should be the kids decision whether they would like to play a sport or not, and parents should not push them to do anything they would not to willingly. Honestly, a sport is designed to be fun, to have a good time while learned good lessons like teamwork. What is the point of playing a sport if you are not having a good time doing it? Their are none, its just a waste of time otherwise.

I think there is a balance to everything, and as long as a kid enjoys the sport he or she will try her or his best and there should be no pressure from the parents. nothing but pure love

Organized sports are by no means a bad thing, but like all things, there is a limit.
Growing up I was involved in dance myself, along with several other sports, groups & activities. It was the best thing I could've done as I developed skills, overcame my shyness and made new friends. However, my parents always made a point of talking to me, even in the early years, and making sure I never had too much on my plate. If I was feeling overwhelemed, they immediately would take action and ensure that I was never forced to take part in any given activity. Unfortunately, I have seen many children who are not blessed with loving, concerned parents such as mine. In the past I have had friends that have been so stressed out they'd cry, withdraw from their friends and literally just give up. Seven year old kids who already are sick of life!. It's a sad thing to watch, really. Parents should know their children's limits. Activities should be balanced with other healthy, stress-free aspects of young life.

I agree completely with your statement however parents can take it above and beyond where it should be (coaches, your just as guilty in general), the key is supporting your kids in what they want to do and letting them live out their dreams instead of pushing them to complete yours (witness alot of stage parents for young actors/actresses and football moms/dads)

Sports and activities teach children discipline, time management, teamwork, and resposibility. I will make sure that my kids participate in at least one activity per semester (just like my parents did with me and do with my brother). If that is forcing, then call me an exploiter of children, but the skills kids learn in those activities are skills that really can't be learned any where else.

Hmmm I work as a Student Athletic Trainer and while stage parents push their kids hard what I have been instructed by my boss (who has many years of experience with youth sports) is that the athletes tend to push themselves harder than the parents, this drive is encouraged by dumb-ass coaches and that is where over use injuries happen, where injuries in general happen to tell the truth

I know kids who have ran away because to much presure is being put on them with school and then all the extra things their parents make them do .It is just to much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![COLOR:RED]

I agree. Parents who force their kids to do something sicken me. How can they not realize what they are doing?

They should know that when their kid gets older, they're just going to quit because they will not like it anymore.