Ever since I was young my mom has been a stay at home mom. Life got rough a few years ago. She quit her motherly duties, wasn't the "room mom" anymore, and I felt destered. My parents began to argue and fight often. Atleast once a day. This led to there divorce. I live with my dad almost all the time (he kept the house). N ever since my mom hasn't ever been the same. She's late to pick me up from school. She is a penny pincher. And I miss old times. My parents encourage me to be a "independent woman". To go to college to pursure my dreams. But is that what I really want? I have aspired to be a lawyer ever since i was young, but now it has just hit me. Working mothers isnt realistic. I suffer now because my mom is always too busy and is never there for me to be a mother. She is always working etc. And now Im wondering if I want to do that to my kids when Im older. Do I want to abandon them? Daycare services afterschool?

Having working parents really teaches you independence. Both of my parents have full time jobs and I am one of the most independent kids I know. I can wash dishes (by hand - we do not own a dishwasher), wash laundry and generally clean the whole house. I can't actually cook but, like last night when they were both working at night, I can always find and fix something for myself to eat for dinner. And I still see them fairly regularly and spend quality time with them. My dad and I went to a basketball game last week. My mom wants to go whale watching some weekend soon. I mean, these little mini-vacations don't happen often but they're fun and they ground us - allow us to have free time to just enjoy time together. So I learned to be a very independent and responsible person and I also still get quality time with my parents.

I know this is gonna be hard for you. It is ofr almost everybody but you have got to stay strong. Don't let your dreams die because of your parents choices. Remember that they love you and there is always gonna somebody there for you. I will pray for you. Be who you are and do your best.
G-d be with you
Becky

No, no, it was to the post author.

quote:

Originally posted by CelticNewAger:
Start appreciating the fact that your mother works her ass off for YOU.

Celtic - were you replying to the post I left under you? I was like, "What did I say to get that kind of reaction from Celtic?" But hey if it wasn't my post that did it than okay.

You probably feel this way because you live with your dad most of the time, and made a drastic change from seeing your mom all the time to rarely seeing her.That must'a taken a while to adopt to.

But hey, remember that your mom has a life too. Her only obligation on this planet is not just to YOU... She has to think of herself too, and it sounds to me like she's doing that. It doesn't mean that she no longer loves you, it just means she's spending time to love herself MORE.

Don't get selfish and resent that. Be glad for her!!! Look how many years of her life she dedicated solely to your welfare, the least you can do for her now is be happy she's happy (OR TRYING TO BE).

And you're not five anymore. Life will not throw roses anf fairies your way everyday. You will be faced with even harder difficulties and challenges than this. It's called LIFE: Quit whining and DEAL WITH IT.

Change is inevitable. It's, like, the mosst fundamental law of nature...

What you choose to do with your life is not really dependent on what your mom chose to do with you... just decide what you want to do wit your life and go for it...

No use dwelling on spilt milk.. pour yourself another glass, or have orange juice instead!!!stead!!

quote:

Working mothers isnt realistic.

You're sexist. You don't need a stay at home mom to be sucessful. You're acting spoiled and immature.

Start appreciating the fact that your mother works her ass off for YOU.

With my mom being a single parent of two, working was pretty much the only option. The child support she got from my dad wasn't sufficient to live off of for a family of three.

My mom worked crazy hours because she managed every aspect of the business where she worked. There were even times on weekends when my brother and I had to wake up early and go in and help my mom because an employee called in sick and no one else was scheduled to come in until later that day.

Now, at the age of 45, my mom owns her own business and has bills to pay for until she's in her sixties.

Honestly, I wouldn't trade anything for how I was raised. If it hadn't been for my mom and the way she raised my brother and I, I wouldn't be the person I am today.

"I don't agree with the woman rights people. I personally think that life was way better before women got all these rights.".. this is BS ...come on wht the hell...without our rights we wouldtn b able to vote or do nethin on our own...we would depend on the man in our life...wether bien the brother,father or husband...and tht is not right..we should work nd help out...give our children the best life we can...or if we do have apretty good life nd stayin at home is the best thin for the children nd it would make the wife,husband nd childern happy thn y not...it all depends on the case..!!

Well,

My Parents both work full time ever since they were married. And my parents have raised 5 kids. Of course with a little help from my and my older sister babysitting.

If you know you want a Career and a family (I do too) Find a Career that you wont work supper long hours, not much travle,..

I wanted to be a Doctor for so long, until i found out theres was about 8+ years of school and the hours they work were crazy, And i knew I would not be able to rasie a family + medical school/etc

Okay I have to say something, because this is beyond stupid.

quote:

Working mothers isnt realistic. I suffer now because my mom is always too busy and is never there for me to be a mother.

You are one whiny, ungrateful little curse word. My mom works 10 hours a day, 5 days a week and it's been that way since I was born. She earns the most money. My dad is a lazy peice of shit who spends most of his money on booze. My parents used to fight, but that was only because my dad wouldn't contribute to the bills and they simply don't love each other. If my mother didn't work, the family income would've decreased by $70,000 a year, we wouldn't have the 3-story house we have now, my sister and I wouldn't be able to go to college, my sister wouldn't have a new car, my dad wouldn't have a new car, my mom wouldn't have a new car, I wouldn't have my art supplies, my cats, my Invisaligns, my computer, my PSP, my PS2, etc. I'm sorry but expecting to have a bunch of kids on one income is even more unrealistic. You have to consider the cost of electricity, water, housing, medical, school, food, clothes, transportation, and all those other extra things your kids might need or want, like braces. You'll be extremely lucky to find a man able to pay for all of that. My mom has worked at her job for so long before my sister and I were born, that she became the manager of her department and was able to take off as much time as she needed to. And when she couldn't get any time off of work to take care of us, she'd call one of our godmothers or she'd take me to work with her. So, even though my mom was very busy, I got more attention than I could ever ask for.

I'm extremely grateful for my mom working, because if she didn't we'd be dirt poor and barely survivng on my dad's pitiful $20K income.

Your mother didn't "desert" you because she was working. There was obviously something wrong with her character. My mom never deserted me. She's a very hard working woman at the office and at home.

If you want to be a stay at home mom, go for it. But, I strongly urge you to get a college education before you do that, just in case. Especially if you end up with a child with special medical needs. That kid would be really screwed.

Think people.

From personal experience I can tell you it isn't "easy" but it's definitely possible to have a job and take care of a child.

The point is that now that women have right we can CHOOSE whether or not we would rather work or be stay at home parents. I'm glad I wasn't around before women were given equal rights - imagine the temper tantrums I would have thrown, lol.

Personally, I have no idea if I'd even be a good stay at home mom, but whether I would work or not would depend on a lot of things. Financial situation, if I have kids, if I've even found a career I like... You can't really plan these things ahead of time, but I firmly believe in getting an education so that you keep your options open. If you want to be a lawyer, you should syudy to be a lawyer. I'm sorry things can suck for you, but your parents where right when they told you that you should pursue your dreams.

Ok, just becuase your mom works and doesn't have time to spend with you isn't every case, my mom is a very sussecful accontant and she has time to spend with me. There are tons of moms who are succesful in the work place along with home lifes. But you seem to ignore the fact that fathers have parental responsibilities, the parenting job shouldn't be left up to just the mother.

quote:

I don't agree with the woman rights people. I personally think that life was way better before women got all these rights.

Whoa!! You mean the right to vote? The right to own property? Do you think that women should do what their husbands tell them to do?

There is nothing wrong with being a stay-at-home mom, btw.

quote:

All the above is my opinion.

You're a woman, your opinion doesn't matter. Stuff it, wench.

I am a woman who personally thinks that women should stay at home and become stay at home moms,but due to the women rights people that think they know everything a woman wants saids that it's wrong to become a stay at home mom.

I don't agree with the woman rights people. I personally think that life was way better before women got all these rights.

I think that you should stay at home and all. But I believe that it is your life and you do whatever you want with it.
So, if you become a stay at home mom or one that goes to work all the time. It's your choice.

When I get engaged I'm going to quit my job and the only time after we are married that I am going to go to work is when I really have to.

All the above is my opinion.

Your parents only want what's best for you. Parents aren't perfect. My parents have been divorced since I was three and I have lived with each of them enough to know that work isn't everything. My dad isn't as bad anyomre about being a workaholic but my mom still keeps her work 1st priority and everything else just comes in second. But after awhile I learned to live with that. I think it's about having balance in our lives and taking what we learn from our parents and using it as tools to be better than they were with us.

Hey Sam my Mom works so I suggest go and become a lawyer or whatever you want to do and when you get married and ecied to have kids decied (you and your husband) who's gonna work and who's gonna stay at home most family's look at this from a fincancial stand point but not always. My Mom stayed at home for 14 years or so and has recently started teching again now that we're all old enough to fend for oursleves mostly Don't put your life on hold just to have kids it's not a requirement you know.