Lately it seems that whatever I talk about with my mom we argue, and it somehow leads into her not liking my clothing style and how she thinks I'm being drawn into a crowd of people who are depressed and suicidal or "no good" to be around. I don't get that! I have nice, normal friends (for the most part). One other thing is that I'm always depressed. I want o talkt o my mom about it since she's a shrink, but I don't think she'll take it seriously. Please give me some advice on how to deal with my mom.

I'm always fighting with my Dad, and he is always making sarcastic comments about one of my friends who is gothic (well, not in the white makeup black eyeliner kind of way, just wearing black and her general way of acting. I don't like to label people, but it's the closest thing I can think of to call her to get my point across.) He seems to think she's going to blow up the school, but I really like her. She does have some problems, and I do my best to help her with them, but that's not who she is, you know. Also, I have a lot of "normal" friends, at least what he considers normal, but he always thinks I'm going to be corrupted or whatever. It seems like he doesn't think I can make my own decisions or have my own problems. He just sees me the way he wants to. But, this isn't supposed to be about me. A lot of times, if you start a conversation, instead of waiting for her to start a conversation, you can get your point across with out immediately getting defensive. Then she'll see how you really feel, instead of just perceiving (sp?) you as a spoiled brat that just wants to argue and never listens to anything you say (I'm not saying you are, it's just that parents sometimes see us that way, or at least mine do.) Also, the letter thing can help. As for getting her to take you seriously, sometimes all you need to do is ask her to. I know it sounds simple, but if she realizes that what she thinks is important to you, she'll pay more attention. (Did that sound cheezy?) Anyway, best wishes, Jen.

i dont think parents understand very much about our lives. just today she was critisizing me for wearing black and such. and really, they never dealt with a lot of the stuff we deal with when they were teens, and i dont think its an excuse to blame their stress on taking it out on us when we cant vent any.

make a conscious (sp?) effort to not argue. Or write a letter Sometimes that works.

-rito