I have been concerned with this issue for many months. I volunteer at a Children's Home near my house and recently I have noticed that things are going wrong with the system.
One boy was sent to a foster family and did fine for a while then returned to the home and finally the courts decided that he could return to his abusive parents. I don't understand how the courts can decide this? Many of the children get great homes and then the foster parents decide that they don't want the child, so they send them away, which only ends them up in the abusive home they started from. My question is should children be returned to the homes where the abuse, neglect and exploitation started? Why does the court system allow this to happen?
It makes me sad to see the children I volunteer with having good behavior and great goal scores but then I watch them return to their parents that hurt them.
If anyone has any information that could help me better understand the court system on abusive children and parents, will they write to me. Thanks.

Do you know how many kids are abused each year and how the numbers are growing? its very sad to know how many parents are taking their hardships and crap like that out on their kid. i worked children and i heard some of their stories and many of them aren't very good.
their parents aren't in the best shape either. that's why there needs to be better programs set up to help the parents and there need to be better places for the children to go to. Even if the children are returned to their parents the likely hood that the parent will abuse their child again is high.
yeah the parents may learn from their mistakes but it always likely to come back around. these parents more than anything need to recieve some help. maybe we need to start teaching kids at an early age so that when they grow up they won't turn into these type of people.

I don't think they should ever go back either, I read "A Child Called It" and even though I haven't been able to find any of Dave pelzer's other books, the one I read affected me very much and it horrifies me to think about how many kids are probably getting treated that way right NOW! I think its best to just get them away from that kind of situation while they're still alive and never let them go back.
By the way, sunkised9519, kids should never have to "know the ropes" about being beaten! That should never be something that any child has to worry about, its sick!

This is a tough question. It really varies from situation to situation. If a parent who has abused their child admits that they were wrong and gets help, then I think they should start off with visitation with the child. If this goes well, and the parent continues with parenting classes/anger management/counseling/AA, then it might be good for the child to return home at some point.

If someone is psychotic, and really can't be rehabilitated, then they should not have their child returned to them.

Some parents who abuse their children actually feel very bad every time they hurt their child, but they just don't know how to control themselves when they are very upset. If they gain the necessary skills to stay in control, then they have a chance at being better parents.
I am completely against any form of child abuse, and the courts need to be more careful when determining whether or not a parent with a history of abuse should be granted custody over their children.

Hell no. I don't think so. I agree with everyone, it would just start up agian.

NO, A child who has an abusive parent should in no case be allowed to go back to that parent or even see that parent ever again.

recently i made a speech about child abuse and by the faces of my peers, i could see that they were very disturbed. many people had uncomfortable faces on and how do you think people should react when you tell them stories about children who've experienced child abuse. how would you approach the situation.

ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!!! Children should not be returned to their abusive parents. The parent could say that they are not abusive antmore but then when the child is given back to them they could abuse him/her again.

NO WAY!!!

It's sad to think kids who have been abused my parents are going back to them.

I mean are tons on couples who want a child and cant have one.

It's Just Wrong!!!

quote:

Originally posted by dash69:
Not 'no' but 'hell no'.

You said it!

Not 'no' but 'hell no'.

um no

I would say no and never again. There's never a second chance with abusive parents. If you had read these books "The Child Called It", "The Lost Boy" and "A man named Dave". It can relate to this post.

I don't think they should. My best friend was abused in many ways by her dad, and finally she got put in foster care. later she was sent to live with her dad's sister, and up til then she had been doing great. she was doing well in school, was more outgoing, and just in a better mood. Her aunt denied the abuse, and she went back to being sad. she was sent back home, stayed for 2 weeks, then ran away, she is still missing. she would of been fine if she hadn't been made to go back. now her life is ruined because the courts messed up and sent her back. It's proven that the majority of child abusers will continue to abuse no matter how much help they get. We shouldn't put children through that, and even if they survived it once, they might not be so lucky the next time around.

Well My Biological Father was an alcholoic and abused me, him and my mom split up when i was five. I never was put in a foster home. Probably because my mom didn't abuse me. Most of the time the Abusive Parent or Parents will pretty much lie and bribe the court to win. I do believe everyone should get a second chance. But have coming from this and surviving it. I would say that you should give them hope. If they kids feel threatend by their parents have them call 911. Get someone at school to listen to them. Do something so the kid can get out. Because I would stay silent. and that stunk! Feel free to contact me on more info

--Nathan

Although I don't know a lot about the whole court system and stuff I think people deserve a second chance. Do these children go back to their original home after their parents have recieved counceling or whatever it is they need? But although I believe people deserve second chances I believe these children deserve a even better oppotunity at finding happiness. I believe that each case should be treated differently and that the system should deffenectly do a better job with these things. I think that the government is not really doing what they should be doing completely.

-Serena

ALthough foster homes rarely are abusive it is also hard on the child to be moving from home to home on a regular basis. I know a friend of mine who was in the foster system, was adopted and then put up for foster again! He ended up in 3 different states and eventually I lost track of him

In alot of cases, the system doesnt do what it needs to and allows a child to remain in an abusive environment for years and on the other hand sometimes the neighbors call and that is it, the child is gone when Mom comes home from work

The system lacks standards.

I think that sometimes it is better for the child to go back then to be bounced around and screamed at by foster parents. If the kid survived the abuse the first round, then odds are s/he has a better chance back at home where s/he knows the ropes

I agree. Why should abusive parents have the right to take their children back. Its not right. How does anyone know that the parents wont go back to the way they were. I dont think that children should have to put up with that ever again! Thats what foster parents/ adoption is for, to give someone a better home.

I don't even know if the parents deserve one more chance... it really matters if they've improved any (in the treatment) and if the kid wants to go back. Because i care more about the kid's happiness and safety than the abusive parents happiness. But of course if the kids do want to go back they have to be really closely monitored. The kids shouldn't have to suffer for our mistake of sending them back to their parents.